My Safe Haven || camren

Looking for Her

I ran and ran but I didn't manage to catch her just to tell her that whatever she saw is not what she thinks it is.

She should know that when I say it's over between me and someone, it's over.

But why is it so hard for her to see that I really broke it off with him for her, that I'm doing all of these for her?

Why?

What is it gonna take for her to see it?

To feel it?

I continued my search for the younger woman around the mall in the hopes that I will find her.

As I walk around to check almost every single store in that building, my phone started to ring in my bag.

I rummaged through the bag to look for the device that kept on ringing.

Finally, I grabbed hold of the rectangular thing and looked at the screen to see who it was trying to call me at that moment.

Lucas.

He really won't give up.

I pressed ignore and shoved my phone back in bag.

I checked a couple more stores before my phone started to ring again.

I answered the call this time knowing that it will still be him on the other side of that line.

"What?" I asked him annoyed.

"Lauren come back, you don't have a ride home. Where are you?" He said.

"I'm not a little kid, I can take care of myself." I told him harshly and then hanged up the phone.

Disappointed that I didn't find Camila anywhere, I grabbed a taxi back home, thinking about what I should do next.

The car pulled up in front of my house and I paid the driver generously before hopping out of the car and taking out a cigarette straight away.

I sat on the front porch, looking out into distance, inhaling the toxic air into my lungs and slowly releasing it with the air around me.

"Lauren?" Taylor opened the font door.

I quickly finished the cigarette and put it out in one of the ash trays hidden at the side of one of the flower pots.

"Yeah?" I asked her, as I exhaled the last puff of smoke from my lungs.

"What are you doing out here?" She asked, "you should be inside, someone's waiting for you." She then added.

Why would anyone look for me?

Is it him again?

I followed my sister inside the house, quickly running my fingers through my hair to look a little more presentable to whoever is waiting for me in there.

I walked in with my head down, making sure I followed my sister where she is heading.

"There she is." I hear my mother's voice announcing my arrival.

I finally lifted my gaze up to see who it was with them.

Shit.

It's Camila.

"Ma, let's leave them two alone." Taylor announced and grabbed my mother's hand to get her away from the two of us.

I stood there staring at her. I'm just... Staring at her.

She stood up and held out a hand for me to take.

"Talk to me." She sighed heavily.

Okay, it's not that I don't want her here right now and I wasn't looking for her just then but why is she questioning things all of a sudden?

I'm just a little confused.

"Why are you here?" I asked her gently, trying not to offend the younger woman.

"I know I've been such a horrible person to you lately but I'm worried about you, Lauren." She stated.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine." I smiled and placed a reassuring hand on her.

She looked at my hand as I tighten the grip on her hand that's sitting on her lap. She then slowly lifts her gaze up to meet my eyes once again.

"I know you're not." She said.

She can still read me so well but I cannot seem to read her any longer.

I let out a sigh and that's when she knew that she was right.

"Is he hurting you?" She asked, lowering her voice down to avoid anyone from hearing our conversation.

None of my family members know that the different men that I have dated after Camila were all physically and emotionally destroying me.

And lately Lucas has been a lot more physically abusive towards me than before.

"No, no. He's not hurting me anymore, he just can't accept the fact that we're over that's why he keeps on coming back in the picture." I explained to Camila.

"Did you make it clear to him that's what you want?" She pressed on.

"I did but I'm not sure he gets it..." I trailed off, "but let's not worry about that." I added.

"Lauren, I'm not sure what you want is something that could work right now." She sighed heavily.

"We could make it work Camila, we could always work on it."

"Now that we're well known all over the world, do you have any idea how mad everyone will be? There's going to be a lot of chaos with this, risks. Have you even thought about what would happen to the other girls if we pursue with this? This could tear their dream apart." She explained, "I want to say that I would like to give it a shot but..."

"You're scared of what might happen..." I finished for her, "I know you're scared that it will go down to what it was like before but Camila we're older and a lot mature now, I know we can handle things in a lot better now." I told her.

"I don't know Lauren, I still don't think it's right." Camila continued to press on.

"But I love you Camila... I still do..." I shared with a soft voice.

"I know you do Lauren, I know you do."

I didn't say anything and just stared at her face, not saying anything.

We sat there in silence.

None of us saying anything.

Just the piercing sound of silence.