My Safe Haven || camren

New Location, New Information

The news spread like a wild fire the day Lauren broke up with her now ex boyfriend.

According to what I heard, they had a massive fight a few days after our last show in Vegas.

I haven't talked to her or asked her anything about the break up.

I don't know whether I'm the one who's distancing myself around her or she's the one doing it.

But ever since her drunken mistake, we have never spoken or looked at each other despite the fact that we have to be together on this entire concert.

This is the typical Lauren though, she would date someone for a few months, someone who's hurting her, giving her baggage after baggage of extra weight to carry around then break up with them. Then the next thing you know she's onto another guy just a few weeks later.

I tried to get my mind off the idea of trying and wanting to be there for Lauren by shutting the world out and focusing on the songs playing from my phone.

I got into the back of the van that they got for us to avoiding having to sit next to Lauren for the entirety of this ride as I look outside the window and watch people pass by.

When I heard that everyone are settled down and ready to go to the airport, I was relieved that Lauren wasn't sitting next to me but sitting in front of me next to Normani and Dinah.

I then felt Ally slightly tapping on my arm.

Her lips were moving but due to the loud sound coming from my headphones I didn't quite understand what she was saying.

"Sorry what was that?" I asked after I took the device off my ear.

"You talked to her?" She whispered to me and gestured towards Lauren.

"No, why?" I shook my head.

"Apparently she's been out of it lately." Ally then informed me.

"What do you mean? She looks fine to me." I asked her confused as to what she's talking about.

"Well after our last show, after you left, she just blew off and started to scream at people, she literally lost it at everyone." Ally then explained, "no one could calm her down. I tried to talk to her but she just keeps on giving me the same blunt answer, 'she's fine'" she then added and air quoted her last words.

After hearing what Ally had just said, I was kinda scared to think that maybe she's just acting that way because she was affected by their break up but then I remembered the things that I found in her bag before.

Is she now depending on those to control her temper?

I don't want to think of it that way and despite the fact that I don't want anything to do with her any time soon, I still care about her and her wellbeing.

There will always be a part of me where I deeply and truly for this girl.

When we got to the airport, I was told that I will be sitting next to Lauren on the plane so for hours I will be sitting next to the girl that won't even look at me.

When we boarded the plane, I settled in my seat and Lauren followed, looking mad and annoyed as usual.

I watch as she puts away her bag and makes sure that she has her book to read and iPod ready for this flight.

I don't know how she managed to do that but not even one look, not even one was thrown in my direction.

Does she even realise that she's sitting next to me?

Once in the air and the flight going smoothly, I looked over to my left and saw Lauren so deeply invested into her book. I want to talk to her but I also don't want to interrupt her reading. She looks amazingly beautiful when she's so focused on something.

But I couldn't get what Ally told me out of my head. I need to know if she's okay.

"Hey Lauren." I started softly and looked at her to see if she heard me.

"Lauren?" I repeated when she didn't look in my direction.

"Lauren?" I lightly tapped her on the shoulder.

She took out her earphones, she had her damn earphones the entire time, and looked at me.

Fuck.

"Yeah?" She asked with a blank expression.

At this moment I don't know what going through her head or anything.

I can't read her anymore.

"You okay?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah, why won't I be?" She then shared a small smile.

She said she's fine but do I wanna take that answer or do I keep on pressing on to get something that I will probably regret later.

"You've been quite out of it lately that's all." I sighed.

"I'm fine Camila, don't worry bout me." She shared a what she calls reassuring smile.

"You can talk to me about anything Lauren, you know that." I placed a hand on her shoulder, kind of encouraging her to talk.

"Yeah..." She sighed heavily, "I know." She then smiled and looked into my eyes.

Then silence fell between the two of us.

She was just staring at me and I was just staring at her.

Until she started to talk once again.

"I broke up with him." She spoke softly.

"I know, I'm so sorry." I rubbed her upper arm for comfort, "you love him and you guys have been through quite a lot." I then added.

"I did it for you." Lauren stated.

Wait she broke up with him for me?

"Wh... What?" I started to stutter.

Shit, my stuttering.

"Camila, I'm not over us." She then looked into my eyes.

"You broke up with me five years ago and I never knew the reason why..." I trailed off, "you just... left." I swallowed the now building up emotions in the back of my throat.

"I know and I am truly sorry for that."

"I worked so hard for years just to get your trust and the value of your friendship back. I watched you suffer when all of these guys came into your life and disrespect you as a human being. I watched as they lay their eyes on you the way that I did, I watched through all these years Lauren. I watch you have them in their arms when I could only wish that I were them instead." I can feel the tears building up on the edge and the burning feeling of them wanting to flow freely to show my emotions but I couldn't. I couldn't let her see me so vulnerable, so affected by everything that has happened to her throughout all those years.

"But they only had and wanted me at my best, you had me at my worst. You were someone who was there for me after everything that has happened." Her voice shaking a little, "you toile care of me despite watching me go back to them over and over again."

I didn't know what to say anymore.

Does she really mean everything that she just said or is this another one of her drug talking to me?