Empty Seat » Evanstan

S E V E N » S . S

"So they want you to do an another trial," Anthony asks.

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Anthony and I have been friends since he was twelve and I was eight. I was sitting by a tree during playtime like I normally did. Nobody wanted to be partners with me, they didn't want to play with me, and tried not to talk to me. My teachers had empathy, but that was normal. They were practically my only friends, until April 15, 1990.

Now we had all grades during recess. Anthony and his brother, Calvin, moved to Manhattan that month.

Like I said it was a typical day, I was by a tree. When all of a sudden something hit the tree.

"Hey," someone said, "Can you hand me that?"

I felt around and found it. I grabbed it and held it out.

"Thanks. Hey, you wanna play?"

"Uh, I..."

"Come on."

He grabbed my hand and dragged me away from my spot.

"You get the ball-why'd you bring him?"

"What do you mean?"

"You brought Blindbastian."

"What?"

I faced the ground. I may not be able to see the kids' faces, but I can imagine the weird looks they were giving me. I felt a tear fall down my cheek.

"Hey everyone," someone said, "Blindbastian is crying!"

Everyone started laughing. All started chanting crybaby.

"Stop," 'Anthony' says.

"No," I say. "Everyone is right."

"What's going on over here?," Miss Carolina asked.

"Nothing-" one started but Anthony cut them off.

"They were insulting him."

I couldn't see her face, but I knew she was mad.

"All of you to the principals office!"

"But it's not our fault he's a crybaby."

"And it's not his fault for being blind. Sebastian, come here, we'll get you to the nurse."

She grabbed my hand and dragged me behind her. I wanted to say I didn't need the nurse, but I didn't want to make Ms. Carolina madder than she was. That was the first time I met Anthony. The second time we ever talked was two months later.

I had just had my first eye surgery and was upset to find out that it didn't help me. I went back to school depressed. It was recess when I was back under my tree.

"Hey," I heard.

It was Anthony's voice.

"Hi."

"Where've you been?"

"Huh?"

"You've been gone for like two months."

"Oh, I had surgery."

"What kind?"

"Eye."

"What'd they do?"

"They said they could help me see again, but they lied."

It was silent for a second. I thought maybe Anthony left, but he didn't.

"That sucks dude."

"Yeah."

"I'm Anthony Mackie by the way."

"Nice to meet you, if you don't remember I'm Sebastian Stan."

It's quiet then I hear:

"Anthony, why are you with Blindbastian?"

"His name is SE-Sebastian, and he's my friend."

"You're friends with him?"

"Yes, now go away so Seb and I can hang out."

I heard footsteps walk away. Anthony called me his friend. I had a friend.

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I let out a sigh as I run a hand through my hair.

"Pretty much, but we both know it won't be successful."

"Yeah but you know you're going to do it."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll do it because your mom will have you do it."

"I know, but I don't want to have an another fail. It's tiring to go under and then have a procedure that doesn't work."

It's silent. It doesn't even seem like we were even talking.

"Other than that, what else happened?"

Changing the subject, I racked through my recent memories. The guy.

"I met this guy the other day. Don't know his name, but his voice is sexy."

I was fifteen when I came out. I'm not afraid to say that I was nervous about telling everyone. Anthony was the second person I say I was gay. He was so calm about it, unlike my mother, who was worried.

I hear Anthony whistle.

"Well damn, my Little Seb is growing up."

"I'm four years younger than you."

"You're still my Little Seb."

"Shut up."

"Tell me more about him."

"He's got a hot voice; there's not much I can say, I can't see him."

"I know that smart ass, I meant has Hot Voice said anything?"

"He said Jax is cute and when I met him at the doctors' office he said 'Watch where you're going.' but he doesn't know I'm blind."

"Are you curious?"

"About what?"

"About what he looks like?"

I start thinking for a moment. I mean maybe I might want to know, but I'm curious about something else.

"Nah, I'm more curious to know what I look like."