Dear You, I Need You ||Justin Hills||

Justin's P.O.V

Dedicated to DG_and_Reid for voting and commenting. THANK YOUUUUUUUUUU 

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Pros of giving Angela another chance : 1. Evan, my own son, I get to actually see him. 

2. Angela, at times. 

Cons of giving Angela another chance: 1. Evan, I'm only allowed to be the baby sitter. Angela doesn't even think about the fact she has 1 leg and a few broken ribs. All I'm allowed to do is change his diaper and put him to sleep when he's screaming at night. 
2. Angela; We argue and argue. I'm the one to blame for not fighting for her. I do things for her, and I get screamed at. 

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It's been a little over a month since the accident. A month since Angela asked me to 'give her another chance'. And a month since I threw my life right into the gutter. 

Now, I know that I can leave any time I want. I'm a grown man. But I can't. Not with the current circumstances. Who in their right mind would leave some one who is missing a legs, suicidal and has my baby. Who would leave their own baby. 

Not me. I'm not leaving again. 

Angela and I are trying to start our friendship again. No dating, no sexual interactions. Just being friends. But, like I said. Were trying. 

We can never stop arguing. What do we have for do dinner? What toy should I get for Evan? Why do I not do more for Evan and Angela? I seem to be doing nothing right. The only thing keeping me here is my baby and my conscious. 

I get that she is stressed out, far more than I am. But she fought for me to come back, she acted as if she needed me to survive. Then when I give a second glance, I see a glare and I just can understand why. 

What have I done to her? Yes, I did leave. But goddamn no one can expect me to stay in something like that. 

I have this belief, that if someone says they love you and then cheats on you, they never truly loved you. If you loved someone, you'd never let them leave your mind. You'd never give someone else something only one person deserved to see. It's toxic to stay in a relationship like that. And I'll never let something like that happen to me or another person. 

That's why I didn't give Angela another look. Because she forgot about me and she was unfaithful, she didn't love me. I loved her, for sure. But I guess it wasn't enough for her. And I couldn't live with that. With her. 

I'm not sure why I stayed to help her. Or why I even came. Maybe the thought that everything was my fault made me come here. Maybe I just wanted my conscious clear. Whatever it is, I don't like it. 

But Evan, oh my sweet perfect Evan. He's the baby of my dreams. He always has a goofy lopsided smile. One that looks similar to my mothers. Maybe I have that smile too, but I've just been through too much for people to see it. 

Growing up I'd always have problems going on in my life. Nothing like abuse or something like that. It It was more of the fact that people expected too much of me.Everyone in my family passed school with flying colors. So they expected me to do the same. 

But I was never book smart like everyone else. I was street smart, I knew how to get around with difficult people. Except for my difficult family, of course. 

"Jason, can change Evan's diaper please" I heard Angela call from the other room. 

This is one of the many examples of Angela not letting me see Evan. I change his diaper, which I'm okay with. But I can't play with him and his cars. I can't hold him. 

He's my son goddammit. 

With a sigh, I stand up from the kitchen table and walk over to where the diapers are. 

When I left Angela she sold the shared apartment we had and bout a new apartment. It was an old place, kind of small. But it was nice. It had three bedrooms. One for her, one for Evan and a guest room that she used as an office. But since Evan was young, he stayed in Angela's master bedroom. Leaving me the Nursery to sleep in. 

I didn't mind tho. It was a fair sides, the walls a sky blue color. Evan's toys and stuffed animals were in two bin in the corner of the room. his diaper bag, stroller, and baby swing right next to it. On the other side of the room was my bed and a closet. The closet was barely big enough to fit my things into, If only I brought my things. 

On the second day living here, I went to the local mall and bought a few outfits for me to wear for the time being. 

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I walked into the living room and picked up Evan from his spot on the couch, and moving him to the floor. 

"You know, I'm giving you a place to live, you don't need to be sour with me." Angela said, looking away from the TV. 

"It doesn't feel much like living to me, Angela" I said to her, looking away from Evan. "We're grown adults, but you treat me like a child. I came back here for you, only to be treated like this."

"I never asked you to come back" she snapped. 

"Really, then what were those hundreds of letters you sent to me? Was this all a joke to you?"

Angela looked at me with tears in her eyes, "Of course I don't think this is a joke! I'm broken Justin and you didn't care. I had to nearly die to get you to come here."

"Right, so did you do that on purpose? Getting in a car crash and not even thinking about our son?! Dammit, are you even fit to be a mother?"

"My son! He is my son and not yours! You left, you'll never get the pride of calling him yours. Fuck Justin. You're so immat--"

Angela was cut off by a screaming Evan, wailing on the floor. 

"God help us! Look at what you did. Get the child to shut up!"

I was awe struck. Not only did she hurt me and herself. But she hurting Evan. She doesn't even treat him like her own. 

I carefully picked up Evan and the dirty diaper and walked towards the nursery, stopping by the trash can on the way. 

Before walking out of the room, I turned to Angela angrily.

"You never gave me the chance to be his father. You kicked me out."

I went into the Nursery and grabbed Evans stroller and sippy cup before walking back into the living room. 

"Were going on a walk. Figure yourself out."