Tell no one. [peterick AU]

Chapter 20: A New Year

~Pete~

Patrick had pulled his arm away from me and scooted away. "Patrick, can I see your arm?" I asked. "No." He said pulling his arm into his body. "Patrick, I need to see your arm" I said. "Why?" He asked. "Because I don't want to you to end up in the hospital for blood loss again. And I care about you. And I want to see if you need stitches" I said. He stuck out his arm, but kept my face turned from me. I wanted it to be fake. I wanted it to be a joke. I slowly started to unwrap the ace bandage from his arm. I had to look away when I saw the bloody mess underneath. I looked back to his arm to see how bad it was. I tried to hold back my own tears, but it didn't do anything. I found myself crying soon too. The cuts didn't look too bad. I don't think he would have to go to the hospital. I tried to clean up the blood as best as I could with ace bandage. I held some pressure on it for a few minutes and the bleeding came to a halt. I put the bandage off to the side. "Is it on the other arm too?" I asked. He didn't say anything. He just turned so his other arm was in my lap, and his face was looked away from me. I did the same to that arm. Unwrapped it, cleaned the cuts as best as I could. It killed me to see the Crimson lines across his wrist. "Ok. I think you're good" I said pulling both of his hands into my lap. He kept his face down. He didn't want to look at me in the face. "Hey, 'Trick. Can you look at me?" He asked. He looked up, but kept his eyes from meeting mine. We were sitting across from each other now. His eyes were red and puffy. Tears rolled down his cheeks. "You're going to get blood on your shirt" He said. "I don't care. I can get blood stains out of my shirt" I said. "Can we talk about something else?" He asked. "It's almost midnight" I said. "And that means?" He asked. But before I could answer there was people counting down from ten. I reached up to his face and lifted it up so he had no choice to look at me. "Can I kiss you?" I asked. He nodded his head. And as the numbers came to there last few I leaned in and kissed him. It was slow, and lasted a long time. I could hear people celebrating down below. Fireworks going off. But all I could focus on was Patrick, and his tears I could feel on my face. I slowly tried to pull away, but he kept a kiss lingering on. "I'm sorry" He said. "Shh, it's ok. We can talk about it in the morning" I said pulling him into a hug. He had his arms pushed against my chest. "Pete, I-" He started to say, but then I cut him off. " 'Trick, let's just go to sleep." I said. "Ok." He said making himself comfortable in my arms. 

~Patrick~

It was cold. We had fallen asleep on the roof. I was shivering. "Pete, it's cold" I said in a quiet voice. He slowly woke up. "It's freezing out here" He said sitting up. I got out of his lap. "I think I found Brendon" I said. He was passed out in the yard, where snow was scattered across the grass. "Oh shit." He said standing up. I pulled down my sleeves. "We should gather the boys. Who knows where they are" He said. We crawled back in through the window. Spencer was passed out on the floor. "Spenc. Wake up" Said Pete waking him up. "Merry Birthday" Said spencer sitting up. "Spencer, are you still drunk?" I asked. He groaned standing up and starching his arms. "When did you guys show up? And how'd you get in here? I locked the door so I could sleep in peace" He said. "We went out on the roof before you came in here" Said Pete. "Good thing, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them are still partying" He said. "You got wasted, didn't you?" Asked Pete. "Yup" He said.

We found Mikey and Ray passed out in the kitchen, Ryan in the downstairs bathroom, Frank and Gerard in a closet in the basement, and of course, Brendon was in the from yard. Andy and Joe didn't come. They were out of town. Brendon was the most hungover. "I can't go home like this guys. I don't even know where my clothes are" Said Brendon. "I have them" Said Ryan. "Pete, do you want to go smoke a cigarette with me at the park?" Asked Brendon. "Can't. I'm trying to quit." He said. I smiled at the thought. He was quitting smoking for me. Because I asked him to. We dropped all the boys off at their houses, well, except for Brendon and Ryan. "We're gonna go smoke a pack. You sure you don't want to come?" Asked Brendon. "We're good." I said. "Ok. Well, I'm leaving tonight. Hopefully see you at spring break." Said Brendon giving Pete and I hugs. "Bye Brendon" Said Pete as they walked away. We walked down the street to my house. 'What time is it anyway?" I asked. He pulled out his phone and checked the time. "7:30 AM" He said. "Do you want to come inside?" I asked. "Yeah" He said. We walked inside and up the stairs. "I'm gonna take a shower. I shouldn't be too long" I said. "Ok. can I change?" He asked. "Yeah. Just take anything from the closet" I said. I went into the bathroom and took a hot shower. It burned my cuts, and the soap hurt even worse. I didn't really need to take a shower, but the hot water helped me clear my mind. It helped me think. Helped me get my thoughts in order. The opposite of a cold shower. I dried myself off and took another ace bandage out, cut it in half, and wrapped each of my hands. I walked back into the bedroom and saw Pete laying in my bed. I slipped on a t-shirt and laid down with him. He wrapped his hands around my waist. "How you feeling?" He asked. "Terrible" I said. "Why?" He asked. "I feel like I hurt you." I said. He squeezed his arms tighter. "Patrick, you didn't hurt me, you hurt yourself." He said. "You started crying last night." I said. "Because I could never see why you wouldn't think your good enough." He said. He squeezed the little bit of fat on my lower stomach. "It's not your fault Pete." I said. "But I still worry about you." He said. I put my hands over his, and he moved his so they were rubbing mine. "When?" He asked. "Before our date. After I took a shower." I said. "Do you do it often?" He asked. "No. It was my first time." I said. "I'm sorry I hurt you last night. If I would have known I wouldn't have pinned your arms down like that." He said. "You didn't know. Thats the thing. I didn't want you to know. The same way I didn't want you to know I wore glasses." I said. "I don't care that you wear glasses. I just want you to be happy and safe. And I never want to see you in pain, or ever hurt you." He said rubbing his face into the crook of my neck. I leaned my head head back. He lightly kissed my neck. "Please forgive me." I said. "I do. Don't worry. I will always forgive you." He said. I sunk down into his arms, getting comfortable. "I might fall asleep." I said. "It's ok. I doubt you slept well last night in the cold." He said pulling the blanket over us. His body was warm. His arms keeping me from moving. I drifted off into a deep sleep.