Inconsistence

building

I have to put up bricks.

Find a way to shut them out. Shut her out. Why stay if she doesn't need me. if they don't need me.

No one does.

Pretend it doesn't bother me. Build a wall. Build everything.

Build a kingdom. No allies.

No one close enough to try to break down my walls. stay distant. stay distant. don't let her close.

When she smiles you won't see perfection. when she laughs you will not hear the sound of a thousand angels singing to earth. And lord, when she sings.. when she sings you will not hear your future in her, you will not hear what you always wished to hear. When she lies to you, when she lies and tells you that she loves you, say it back politely. let her wonder if you mean it. but you do. you always do. you probably always will. if she asks you to promise. be hesitant. let her wonder if youre breaking it. but you never have. you never will. Tell her you are over her. pretend to mean it. She doesn't care that youre in love with her.

Let her think you have drifted away.

and after that. try to drift away. be here for her. always. just build every wall between you and everyone that you could, should or ever would love.

i'm done giving my heart away. But if someone is brave enough to steal it...

I just. I just have to have before I can lock it up.

but someone else has it in her kingdom. and she has a key.

And I don't. I don't. I'm not ready to change those locks.