Inconsistence

Raindrop

Be used to feeling like a little raindrop.

Be used to feeling as if there is no effect.

Be used to not being large enough to take up enough space that matters, you are but one drop of lonely water, trying to make oceans notice you. Oceans don't notice drops, they notice storms. And by the time that you can gather enough of yourself to become powerful and strong and something that can make a difference, I'm sure it will be too late, I'm sure that the tide will have retreated, I'm sure that your ocean will be gone away from you.

Be used to having words stuck in your throat. You know exactly what you want to say, but be used to never saying them. Even know your heart carefully hides and puts away everything unsightly, everything that is a little too much to handle.

Be used to not being able to breathe. Get comfortable with the air not being able to either leave or enter your lungs, your chest will constrict and you don't know what to do. This feeling becomes all too familiar. But at least you're feeling something right?

Be used to being scared that you'll go back to old habits, even now you miss the feel of your silver paintbrush, get used to not telling anyone. If you don't talk about it it isn't a problem. Pretend to be fearless. Pretend to be brave and you might become so.

Be used to trying as hard as you can, be used to not succeeding, just stop expecting a result. Be used to parts of you leaving. I know, you are still but just a small raindrop and there isn't much of you to begin with, but the people who have parts of you will sometimes leave, and when they do, most of the time they take pieces of you with them.

Be used to failing, it happens more often than not, stop getting hurt by it, it never helps you when you do.

Be used to your daydreams again, your fantasies to escape. When you sleep, get used to the fact that you will dream about her more often than you won't but you are just a drop in her ocean. A little speck of cloud in her sky blue eyes.

Be used to being scared that you can't change things, that you can't control things, fear is normal, pretend it isn't there.

Be used to pretending you aren't there.

You are but a raindrop.