And this is how it starts, one fateful night at the
1975 concert, hundreds of girls, but Matty chose
Naomi. Little did she know that this one decision
would change her life.
"CLEAR." was all I heard. Faintly. "WE'RE LOSING HER!" Another person screamed.
I heard several shocking noises.
White light engulfed me. And to be honest, I thought I was dead. People always say "you see the light." and I thought that was the light.
I felt no pain what so ever. And I haven't felt that way in a long time. I wanted to go towards the light but something kept pulling me back.
"CLEAR.......CLEAR........" I heard again.
"Why do they keep repeating that?" I thought to myself.
And all the pain came back and hit me like a truck.
"WE HAVE A STEADY PULSE!" Someone else screamed. I slowly opened my eyes and saw everything.
The light wasn't God, it was the light from the ceiling. Many unknown objects surrounded me.
I blinked a couple of times and my vision was cleared. They were humans, doctors and nurses to be exact. And they all were smiling at me.
"We have a steady pulse sir, we can stop using the AED." One nurse said.
The doctor wiped some sweat off of his forehead and smiled at me. I tried to sit myself up and he helped me.
I groaned and felt light headed.
"Hey take it easy Ms. Sterling. You lost a lot of blood back there and you will be a little weak for a while. But you will be back to normal in no time." The doctor said to me.
I looked down at my wrists and there were bandages wrapped around them.
"What happened?" I asked him weakly.
"Well, Ms. Sterling, you tried to take your own life by slitting your wrists a couple of days ago. You lost a lot of blood but a lovely gentleman saved your life. I can't remember his name exactly....."
But how? Matty left for his meeting that was all I could remember. It was all a blur.
The doctor cleaned up all of his equipment and replaced the IV that was in my arm. He finished and told me that he would be right back.
It all was coming back to me slowly.
I promised myself that I wouldn't do it again, but I broke that promise.
But what hurts most of all is that Matty isn't here. Here to make sure I'm alright. But everything isn't about me. I can't be selfish. He has a life and I'm just preventing him from living it.
That's why I shouldn't be here. That's why I shouldn't be living.
Just when all of these depressing and hopeless thoughts filled my brain, something miraculous happened.
A certain someone walked through that door and ran towards me with open arms.
That certain someone was Matty. My boyfriend.
He was crying extremely hard and he had bags under his beautiful eyes. I hated seeing him like this. "How could I be so selfish?" I thought to myself.
He pulled me into the tightest hug.
"They told me you weren't going to make it and I lost it. I walked in and saw you laying in a pool of blood, you looked lifeless. The razor, your arms, wrists, it was too much for me. I couldn't fathom. I couldn't move, I was frozen. If George, Ross and Adam were not there to call 911, you would've been gone. I sat in this hospital this whole week wondering if you were going to make it. My guilt slowly eating up at me. I just kept thinking, only if I had done this, only if I had said that, she wouldn't be here. None of this would've happened. But now it's clear to me, clear as day. I had a revelation. I can't live without you. I need you in my life. You are the sun that lights up my day, the moon that illuminates my night, And whatever it takes, how ever long, I will be there right by your side because I love you. I fucking love you Naomi Sterling and I always will."
I began to cry. Cry really hard.
"I fucking love you too Matty Healy, and thank you, thank you for making my life not feel worthless or shitty, but for making me feel like I'm wanted and loved. No words can express my gratitude." I said with a huge smile on my face.
He leaned in to kiss me and I kissed him back.
"I'm so lucky to have someone like you in my life." I said to him. He kissed my arms and wrists. I smiled.
"But, Matty, I think I need psychiatric help."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hey guys. Just wanted to let you guys know that depression is a serious thing and if you know anyone who suffers with it, help them, talk to them, be there for them, do anything you think will benefit them. If someone you know is thinking of commuting suicide, seek help immediately. If you aren't sure or are worried, speak up. Be sympathetic and don't be judgmental. Do not take suicidal comments as a joke. Don't ever tell someone to "go kill themselves" because you never know what they could be suffering with. Treat people with kindness.
Okay sorry about that lol but I hoped you enjoyed this chapter! ❤️
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
