Paranoid (Kellic)

Chapter 10

Kellins smile makes me so happy <3 Kellins P.O.V

I woke up at 4 in the morning for some reason. Still held tightly in Vics arms. I felt safe there though. Like with him holding me, nothing could ever happen to me. Like I was safe from the hideous world, safe from the voices. Safe from myself. I never actually thought I would ever come as far as to try to kill myself. I was always too scared. But now the only thing holding me back from doing that is Vic. If Vic wasn't here I would have been gone awhile ago. Why does he have to care? Why does he have to love me? If he didn't it would make all this so much easier. Honestly, I love Vic so much but I don't want to end up hurting him. If the voices take over like they did awhile ago and Vic isn't there to save me then he'll blame it on himself and I'll be gone. I drifted back into sleep still deep in thought.

"Kells. Hey Kell wake up," Vic.

"Oh my god victurd it's to early for life," I said as I grabbed a nearby pillow and threw it at his head.

"Ow. I was just going to say I have something that I want you to try," he negotiated. I sighed dramatically and got up. I ignored him to take a quick shower and then came back fully clothed and ready to go to whatever he was planning. I hope it wasn't another date. Last night was amazing but whenever I smiled I could tell my head was trying its best to get me to quit. I sat inside the car and we started driving.

"Do you think I'm fat? Be honest." I asked Vic as I looked down at my stomach, "you are far from fat baby." He assured me. I stayed quiet and looked out the window as we zoomed past a bunch of trees into the woods. Soon we were on nothing but a dirt road in the forest.

"Are you going to murder me or something? I'm scared. I don't want to be here," I shut my eyes trying to slow down my fast breathing so it wouldn't turn into a panic attack.

"Kellin it's fine. I would never let anything happen to you," he told me confidently. He grabbed my hand and led me towards this abandoned barn. It had broken glass scattered everywhere. It looked like shit to be blunt about it. But then we climbed this wooden ladder up to the top. What I saw was awesome. It was like a loft only it was closed off with the door and carpeted. There was a couch and a bed in there with a bunch of candles, matches, and lighters scattered everywhere because of the zero electricity. It was amazing.

"My friend Turtle owns this place. He said I could use it anytime as long as I ask so here we are," he explained.

"You have a friend named Turtle?" I giggled.

"Well that's his nickname. His actual name is Tony," he informed as he rummaged through a few drawers and I saw he came over to me with 2 lighters, a black medicine bottle, and 2 pipes.

"Vic I don't know about this," I hesitated.

"No. Listen. You want something to soothe your mind and make you less paranoid, so this is the alternative to getting wasted," he smiled. I shrugged. And grabbed a pipe and a lighter. I've never done anything like this before so I'm kind of shaky and scared. Vic opened the bottle and grabbed a couple of pieces and put it into the amazingly designed blue pipe.

"So just take a deep breath as your lighting it. It will make your throat feel funny but you'll get used to it. If you do like 5 breaths of those you'll be more relaxed,"

I put my mouth to the pipe and lit it as I took a breath. The smoke felt a little rough but soon turned into a soothing feeling. Me and Vic did this a few more times until the smell of marijuana filled the room and we were laying back on the bed. Still smoking but higher than ever. I laughed.

"What's so funny kellybear?" He asked me sweetly.

"Can't these drugs like fuck you up?" I asked.

"No silly it's a plant," I nodded in realization that a plant couldn't hurt you. Just make you feel extremely good. Like nothing mattered. All my problems are lifted off my shoulders.

"How much money is this stuff? We should get our own." I laughed.

"I have some at the dorm I just didn't want you to break up with me because most people think this stuff is bad. It's not." He said.

"Nope it's all good," I rolled over and got on top of him and leant my head against his forehead. He looked really tired but i think that was the weed. I leant my head against his forehead and he lazily smiled. I did the same. I kissed his lips softly. I was about to pull away after one peck but he flipped me over so I was on bottom and started kissing me roughly. He bit my bottom lip and worked his way down my neck, probably leaving a couple of love bites. He was about to go further down but I pushed him away for a second.

"I don't want to go any farther. Let's just keep kissing and smoking," I told him. I took a pipe and quickly took a breath before blowing out in a circle form and then crashing my lips right back to his. After a few minutes of making out he checked the time.

"We gotta go but we can continue this at the dorms. He showed my that he brought his backpack and he loaded the 2 pipes, lighters, and bottles of weed, "Tony owes me a hundred bucks. We'll call it a trade." I said a quick ok then we got back in the car.

"Jeez Vic I never knew you were such a bad ass," he chuckled.

"Neither did I," I smiled. Content with everything for now.

COMMENT VOTE SHARE! I'll update again tomorrow!