Paranoid (Kellic)

Chapter 11

Kellins P.O.V

I've been laying here for hours. Vic left last night to go visit his parents back home for a few days. I don't know why he couldn't bring me but I remember him having a valid reason. I just forgot what it was. When Vics not here I feel empty. Probably sounds cliche but it's true. I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore. I know he'll be back in a couple of days. Maybe he won't come back though. Maybe when he packed up a few days worth of stuff he was trying to escape me and my clingyness, ugliness, or my constant crying and delusions. I guess I would see when he came back. If he came back.

I decided to get ready and maybe get out of the room for awhile. Maybe that's what I need. I grabbed a clean outfit and a towel and took a shower. I stripped of my clothes and walked into the amazing feeling of hot water beating up against your back. I honestly loved showers. One of the few things that keep me calm. I started running out of hot water so I got out, got dressed and did my hair. I slipped on a beanie and belly flopped back onto the bed. I took a breath out of the pipe we pretty much stole from Tony. It felt really wrong smoking marijuana but the good feeling that came with it pushed all my doubts away.

I grabbed my phone and scrolled through my contacts trying to find someone to talk to. Mike. He's fun. Maybe he'll want to play Grand Theft Auto or something. I pressed on his contact and it ringed a few times before he answered.

"Hey Kell what's up?"

"Are you busy today? Vic went to see your parents and now I'm dying of boredom," I replied.

"Ya sure. My friend Tony is here, is that alright?" He asked me.

"Ya," I answered as I slowly pushed the pipes and lighters under the covers. Well I guess I can't bring those.

"Ok see you in a few,"

"Ok," I said and hung up. I grabbed my Blink-182 sweatshirt and slipped it on. Then I headed to Mikes dorm.

When I got there, like I suspected they had a stack of video games they were about to play. Mike quickly introduced me to Tony. He looked pretty shy but seemed like a really nice guy. He was covered in tattoos and had short brown hair. Mike tossed me a controller and I sat down and started to play.

"So what have you been up to Kellin?" Mike asked me. I haven't seen him for like a month.

"Not much. Just chilling with Vic mostly," I told him.

"Cool. Rin broke up with me a couple of weeks ago cause there wasn't really a connection and Tone asked me out again so ya," he explained and kissed Tony's cheek. I felt kinda awkward. Like a 3rd wheel but it was fine. They were cute. I didn't know Mike was Bi though. I gave a soft smile and continued playing the multiplayer game where we were getting chased by zombies.

"Do you guys wanna go out to eat somewhere?" Tony questioned. Me and Mike nodded and we turned off the TV and console to leave.

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We pulled into the parking lot to solve Garden. The same place me and Vic went to. I walked in anyway and got a drink. Again, I felt like a major 3rd wheel. I wanted to leave. I didn't like feeling like I was intruding on their date or being a bother. This place was also making me miss Vic. The reason why I came over to Mikes anyway. To forget Vic. To push him out of my memory. To not get too attached to him. But it's to late. It's been one day and I'm already missing him like crazy. His warm feeling, his smell, his voice, the way he held me. If I'm like this now what will happen if he happens to break up with me.

"I'm going to go outside for a second," they nodded in understanding and I showed them what I wanted just in case the waitress came to take our order. I walked to the back of the building so nobody would see or hear me and I went to contacts on my phone. I clicked on Vic and it started ringing. It went to voicemail so I waited for a beep to leave the message.

"Hey Vic it's Kellin. I just wanted to see how you're doing. I miss you so much. I feel like a 3rd wheel right now. I wish I would've came with you. If I miss you this much right now I don't know what I'll do if you're gone for longer or if you break up with me. Is that another symptom of schizophrenia? Clingyness? Probably," a tear rolled down my cheek,"I love you Vic, bye." I hung up and waited until he called back. Surprisingly, he called back quickly. I was about to answer but I waited a second so I didn't seem too desperate.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi," I said quietly trying not to cry and overreact about the whole situation.

"Tell me what's up Kell," a tear rolled down my cheek and I sniffled my nose.

"I miss you. I miss having you here, and you're across the U.S," I cried.

"I know but I'll be back in a few days. I should have invited you to meet my family but I told you how they are with me," oh ya they are homophobic assholes.

"Can we set a time to video chat every night until you get back?" I asked him more tears flowing down my cheeks.

"Sure. I'll be back Thursday. 3 1/2 more days. I'll FaceTime you at 4 your time every night. Ok? I'll text you too." I nodded but realized he couldn't see me.

"Ok. I'll FaceTime you tomorrow." I said.

"Ok Kell. I miss and love you," he said sweetly and I could tell he meant it and didn't say it just to make me feel better.

"I miss and love you too," a tear rolled down my face and I hung up. I turned off my phone and wiped my eyes and cheeks. I stared at the cement for a minute and picked at the grass then headed back in to find Mike and Tony receiving their food. I gave a small smile and say down to get back to my friends.

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