Liberation [completed]

Time- Mia

The clock on the dried green wall of the diner read four in the afternoon. I remember how this time a few years back, I would feel the twist in my stomach intensify. While everyone around me got excited for the clock to strike half-past four, I would pray it moved slower or even stopped. But time never stopped for anyone.

Thinking about time made my mind wonder about where time was actually running to? Scientifically I knew it was because of the movement of the earth around the sun but really what was the point in going through the day again and again in the same old routine? Nothing changed, everything was still the same. I remember feeling dread sink into the pit of my stomach at the prospect of going through another week, let alone another day. I had no clue what I was living for. I had nothing but myself to live for.

I was alone, I didn't have any parents, I didn't have a boyfriend, I didn't have a kid, no one cared for me. Yet, I kept living. When I really had a bad day, I'd consider stopping but today wasn't so bad. Though that's the other thing about time, one second it could be going perfectly and in the next, I could be kicked out of here without a job. I worry about that happening too amongst many other things that could happen. 

What did I worry about? 

Well, I worry about paying my rent, I worry about getting sighted by my sick, perverted manager who sexually harassed anyone he wanted at any time. I worry about my landlord bursting into my room wanting more than just rent. I worry about getting kicked out of the said apartment so I bring my backpack full of my possessions with me everywhere I go, just in case. I worry about getting mugged, I worry about getting caught whenever I shoplift a few good foodstuffs from the dollar store. I worry my life will continue in this ugly cycle forever, till I get the guts to end it. The list could go on. 

Despite the gravity of these situations, I stopped reacting to them. If I got fired, I'd just leave and look for another job. It had become my life: If I couldn't find a job then I'd just not eat for a few days. I'd enter the apartment from the window and not through the front while I tried to find another job. In a way, it was good that I was alone. It was just me that I had to disappoint and I had given up on me a long time ago. I was just waiting for the one thing that would kill me. I'm surprised I've even survived this far.

I look back at the clock again: half-past four. Then I look around the empty diner. There was no one here. There never usually was. The morning crowd consisted of five people, the lunch crowd consisted of twelve regulars and a few odd people, the dinner crowd was non-existent. The staff were even lesser, over the weeks that I have worked here, they seemed to be decreasing. This made it harder to hide from my manager. I used to be able to work outside the counter but now with only two staff and one manager, I had to stay behind the counter. The other girl was in the back screwing my manager. She did it so willingly, in a self-fish way, I was glad it was her rather than me. She kept him distracted so he hasn't had the chance to make a move on me. Yet.

The second hand on the clock ticked on, I smirked at it, never stop do you?

As I continue to glare at the clock, the front door opens and closes. I wait for the second hand to tick for another twenty more times before I actually straighten up and look around the diner for the one customer. I liked to play a game in my head: Imagine that there were lots of people here and they were all ordering or needed something so I had to serve them and picking who called me first was the game- like hide and seek. My eyes scanned the area and landed on the stool by the counter, clearly, no one told him the rules of my game. 

I feel my eyes pop open and then return to their original size. My mouth fights to fall open but I refuse to allow it. My hand grips the countertop tightly for fear of falling if I let go. I felt a lump in my throat form and I gulp it down. His eyes were already boring into me. I felt their glare pierce my soul. I felt naked in front of him and terrified like never before. The way he looked at me in itself scared me. So intense and angry. I hadn't done anything to piss him off...not yet, at least. I could feel the aura of authority and supremacy rolling off him in waves. I wanted to cower in the corner and hide from him. He was good looking, from the unintentionally messy brown hair to the huge, bulky body size, this man intimidated me in all senses.