Liberation [completed]

Shell- Asher

I felt so empty. 

I had never felt like this before. I tried to find something to feel, angry, frustration, sadness, loneliness, hatred, love. 

Nothing. 

I was empty. 

I missed her so much. I missed her touch, I missed her smile, I missed her smell, I missed her words, I missed everything about her. The person living in my apartment was just a shell of the girl I fell in love with. I still loved her though, that much I knew.

When we got home the night of my parent's anniversary party, Mia had already left her body and left me with this shell of a version of herself. She threw up the minute she got home and has been like a zombie ever since. She didn't laugh, she didn't cry, she just stared. She had locked herself in her room the whole of the next day saying she wanted to rest. She barely ate now and she didn't come out of her room. I had been spending my nights in her room keeping her company. She never seemed to notice me or need me though. It was more of me needing her.  I tried asking her what had happened but she just stared at me, telling me she was fine but that she wasn't well.

I was going crazy wondering what happened. I have gone through the whole night in my head a million times. She seemed fine the whole time, until the end of the dance when she begged me in the most hauntingly, hollow voice to take her home. We had danced spectacularly, my mother would have been proud of me. Everyone had come to watch us and then she asked me to take her home. What happened between the end of the dance and then I had no clue and it was driving me mad!

I had to figure this out, it wasn't healthy for either of us. I'll get to the bottom of this, I told myself like every other night. I enter my apartment and find it empty. She hasn't come down in four days. She never left her room.

"Hello Asher" Martha greets me from the kitchen.

"Has she come down?" I ask her in a form of greeting her.

"No. I placed her plate on the tray. Do you want me to bring it up or will you do it?" Martha asks me.

"I'll do it. You can go, Martha, thank you for staying till I got home" I tell her.

"No problem, Asher, Mia's a good girl. She deserves so much more" Martha tells me sadly. I look up at her and nod. She had started treating Mia like her own daughter the minute she found the sleeping pills in her bag. I could see the worry in her eyes as she looked at me and handed me the pills.

"I'll take care of her" I promise her. 

"Call me if you need anything," Martha says as she walks out of the kitchen. Martha never offered to work beyond her hours with me but with Mia, she always offered and always went beyond her job scope. 

I rest my elbows on the counter and rub my hands over my face trying to wipe the tiredness off my face. I missed Mia so much. I wanted to hold her, kiss her and hug her. She doesn't let me touch her now. She begged me not to that very night. The fear in her eyes was exactly the same as the first time I tried to touch her. 

After showering and attempting to feel better, I walk down and carry the tray of our food. I knock on the door before entering and catch Mia shutting the laptop and looking up at me. She looked so hollow and empty. The blue spark in her eyes had disappeared. She looked smilier to how I found her. Today, her eyes looked puffy and red. She had been crying, it was something. Finally an emotion from her. I feel my body sigh in relief and soar in hope. 

"I brought us our food," I tell her as positively as I could, "Are you feeling better?" I ask her as I set the food on the bed. She looks down at the tray and at me and shrugs.