I know you know now. Of course it's going to be awkward. Maybe you're not the right person because after all if you really wanted me, you would go for me. You'd be texting me right now. She would be old news. Everything isn't the same anymore. It has to go the hard way. It has to be different. It has to change with you. It always does. Maybe you like her better than me, but right now I don't care. I don't care that you mean everything to me and someone else is your everything. I don't care that I hurt every moment of every day because I'm not the reason you smile anymore. The reason you're happy. It's her. I know you'll choose her in the end cuz she will tell you I tell everyone everything. We are at war. And you're on the other team. We don't work together on this one. You'll be on her side. Not mine. This war will end with me on the ground crying regretting all the time I spent with you. It will end with me never talking to you again. It will end with her smiling and her head in your chest because she is better than I am, so she gets everything I ever wanted. If she's better than me, why don't you just never talk to me again? Just leave me alone because all you do is break anyway. If she's better than me, I really don't understand why you taunt the fact that I actually have a chance with you. Am I your backup? Whenever nobody's around, you hang out with me? Was our friendship just a lie? Was everything we did together just because She wasn't there? Great friend you are. I don't want pretend! I just want you to look me in the eyes and tell me who you like better because I know you have a favorite. Look me in my eyes and tell me she is better. You're implying it anyway, so just say it. Just tell me how you feel, and I'll tell you. I won't say anything else about you and how I feel and how stupid she is except in these letters. This war will be painful. But you're worth the fight. What ever rumors are spread about me, I don't care. Because if you were truly my best friend, you would know me. You would know those rumors aren't true. You would defend me. But you have her now, and everything is done for. Since that day in 6th hour, you've always been different. You're not as funny as you were before. Now it's just annoying and gross. She's changed you. Influenced you. I don't really care anymore. About anything. I wish I could give you up now but I can't. It's not fair. It's not fair I have to wait for someone I know will never come for me. I have to wait for someone that doesn't like me back and never will. You won't matter in the end. I'll long you even after I leave. You said you'll miss me a lot, but I don't believe you. I don't believe anything that you say anymore because she's here now. I don't think you get it. If I leave, and you're with her, everything we did. Everything. Will be wasted. Nothing. Goose eggs. Nothing will ever, ever be good between us. Before I leave, I'll get you to read these. You'll see how much pain I was in. How much it hurt me. these are just a mere fraction of what goes on in my brain. I think about how we could be something without her. How is this war going to end? With her crying or me? Choose. Your choice. If you choose her, I completely understand that you never liked me and all my thoughts were nothing to you. I completely understand that I'll never see you again and it doesn't even matter to you. It doesn't even occur to you that I like this guy you're jealous of. Why can't I like a guy, and tell you about it? You talk about her! You don't get that it breaks me every time you talk about her. When I see the way you look at her. So of course I'm going to talk about him because it makes you mad. YOU NEED TO THINK. you need to get into your stupid thick head that I love you. You need to love me back you little idiot. I can see us together, but I don't want to get on the plane without you, while you wait with her. Because when I leave, I'm not going back for you. I won't wait on you anymore. If you miss me, I don't care. I loved you then. Not now. One day, you'll see me at my wedding and be in pain because you never took the chance to dump her and get me, because you're an idiot. Don't be an idiot. Before I leave, be with me. See what I'm like. Know that you'll never see me again. Win the war with me. Because when this war is over, it's her or me. Make your choice.
