I just don't know what to do anymore. I'll lose you now. No question. You don't like me back. Of course you don't. There's nothing to like. Maybe my last name, but that's it apparently. (According to her) She's going to get you to never talk to me again. She doesn't like me. Ask her. Ask her friends. She really likes you. I guess she deserves you more than I do. Otherwise, you'd be mine. But you're not. Otherwise, I'd be okay. I'd be happy and well and not sad every second. But I'm not. I guess it just wasn't meant. I guess I was meant to leave and be forgotten. Is that how it's going to end? Is that how it's going to be? Just never talking again? Is she really going to do this to our friendship? I'm letting you take the wheel. Do what you want. I don't care anymore. I don't care if you choose to break me into a million pieces if I have any left. I don't have the strength to tell you anything or be mad anymore. You'll just Have to Find out yourself. I don't care. I don't know if you'll just stop talking to me. I don't know if it will be awkward, because either way I'll be so hurt. I can't force you to think anything. I won't make you. I won't talk to you anymore. Just forget it. I don't even care anymore. You'll read these and you'll see how gross and weird and emo and depressed I am and never look at me the same. You'll never see my smile as real. Because it's not. You won't see me like I was. You'll see me as a broken person. This is what goes on in my mind all day. When I talk about Brandon and one direction, it gets my mind off of you. That's why I talk about it so much but I try to get it off the topic of you because it's only destructive. I don't want to be hurt again. So I'll brace myself. When you read this, you'll think I'm a freak. Insane. Fake. Emo. Depressed. Overactive. Dramatic. Then you'll never talk to me again. Cool. I know that you don't like me this much. I know that you will never be with me because I'm not the one for you. I'm not. We aren't cute. We aren't anything. I'm living my happiness based on my Fandoms. My Fandoms. I get excited for other people. Not you anymore. I dread seeing you because you know now. It's not ever, ever going to be the same. Because she's here and she's never going to let me and you happen because she loves you and she thinks I'm a stupid [bad word]. I guess she deserves you and I don't. I guess we weren't meant to be. I guess I just need to leave and never talk again. I guess I just need to forget you.
