Pyschopath ||•Harry Styles•||

36:Purity, Innocence.

Harry

I woke up with Raelynn and her naked body pressed against my chest. She was latched to me as if it was the last time she'd ever see me again. She lay in all her beauty. Her pink lips, plump, and ready for mine to be against them. Her light brown hair lay on my arm and on her face.

I moved her hair behind her ear so I could see more just her lips. Her nose twitched a little as her rubbed it when I moved it. She looked at peace finally. Usually when she was asleep, she looked stressed. Her eyebrows were always furrowed and she would have a frown on her face.

I pecked her lips a few times, then her cheek, then her forehead, her shoulder, and her neck. She started making a whining sound, and moved around before she opened her eyes.

"Good morning, kitten." I mumbled. A smile spreading across my face when her eyes met mine. 

"Good morning." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. She stretched and curled back into my chest. She wrapped my arms around her and tried to go back to sleep. I moved my arm from around her and she moved it back.

We kept doing this until she huffed and moved from chest and to the other side of the bed with her back to me. I chuckled and pulled her back against my chest.

She let out squeak. "Harry, what the hell? I want to sleep." She pouted.

"I want your attention." I said. I sound so thirsty but I don't care, I would sound like or be anything for her.

She turned around, staring at me.

"What?" I said.

"You said you want me attention. Now you have and you aren't doing anything." She growled. "I just wasted 3 minutes on this. 3 minutes I could be using to sleep."

I kissed her. She was so sexy when she was frustrated. I couldn't resist. And neither could she because she was kissing back as soon as my lips touched hers.

We kissed for a good 5 minutes. "Do you forgive me?"

"No." She said.

"Why?"

"Because I'm in pain and I want to sleep it off."

"Why are you in pain?"

"Because in round 3 you didn't go as soft as you said you would."

I chuckled at that because I know I didn't but I tried but that was hard to do.

"It was too good I went as soft as my body would let me." I smiled.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Harry."

"Kitten, how can I make it better?"

"Why do you call me kitten?"

"Because you are as innocent and pure as a kitten. Well was now you are a cheetah. But I'm gonna stick to calling you kitten. You'll always be a kitten in my eyes. You'll always have your purity and your innocence."

Raelynn

Purity. Innocence.

I've already lost my innocence. From what Harry has shown me I can never have an innocent persona anymore. I've been stripped of that. He has stripped me of my innocence all those nights and days when he would beat me. Those days when I was looking at my bruises in the mirror trying to cover them with make-up so he didn't see them.

Last night I lost my purity. I won't lie and say I didn't want it because I did. 100% of me did. I have no problem with admitting it. But I'll never be innocent or pure. My innocence was taken from me. I gave my purity away. There's no way I can get them back.

Those nights and days of his beatings will forever be etched into my brain but for some reason I'm not as angry as I wish I was with him. I wish I could be angry with what he has done to me.

I wish that I wasn't sucked into this. I wished I could hate him but I don't and I won't because I can't. It feels like it's impossible for me to feel the way I want towards him. I love Harry with everything in me and I don't know why.

He doesn't deserve my love and he knows it. We both know it. But it's impossible to take take it away just like it's impossible to get my innocence and purity back.

He's taking my heart and I don't know if I want him to. I felt so sure last night about my feelings for Harry and now I don't regret giving my him virginity but I wish I was confident on how I want to feel about him.

I had just now realized I never said anything to Harry after he said his reasoning on calling me kitten.

"Harry, I-" I sighed. I wanted to tell him how I felt but it was hard because I didn't know how I felt. "I don't know about a lot of things anymore. My feelings being one. But I know that I have strong feelings for you. I want to call it love but so many things are telling me not to. I don't know why I don't hate you for what you've done to me but I don't. It frustrates me that I don't and it's hard. I gave you my virginity because I wanted to. I don't regret doing that but I wish I was sure about if I love you or not."