I Rant On About Crap

The American Pastor

OK, so you know that I go to church, and that I go there, and do whatever, but this is a funny story. It's also from today.

So, the Pastor at my church had to go to India, and do some stuff, so we had to have a different person come to our church, and you know, speak about the book.

Uh.

Our Pastor stated that he personally knows this Pastor, and that she is really nice, and preaches really nicely. Thus was the first time that I found his judgement to be wrong.

So, starting off the service, and first off, she doesn't know what sharing of the peace is, which is kind of a common term used for the moment in the service where people get up, and say hello to the other people who respect, and appreciate, and worship, the book.

So anyway, they're saying hello to each other, and just like every other time that sharing of the peace is happening, I sneak out and get a donut.

I come back, and she asks for all of the "young people" to come up.

So, she has a three objects to show the children, one is a white teddy bear with a scarf with a pattern with the resemblance of the American flag. The second is a little, tiny cross, made of wood, that is painted red, white, and blue, with the third object being one of the little hand flags, you know, the ones that you can wave around and scream "I SUPPORT THIS STUPID COUNTRY AND ALL OF ITS PROBLEMS!", yeah, that one.

So, she has these objects laid out for the children to see, and then proceeded to ask then what order of importance they think these should be put in.

Obviously all of the children pick the cross, because guess what?  They are in church at the moment, so it is sooooooooo obvious that the most important one is the cross, and that they need to choose it, or else the others will be pretty disappointed in them.

So, after they chose the cross, they didn't know what is more important in life, and white teddy bear, or a little flag.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that this bear had a button, on his butt, and that if you were to press it, the bear would start singing the tune of the National Anthem of America.

So, the children couldn't pick out which one was second, so she answered for them.
She told us that the cross is the most important because we should always focus on God, or something like that, and the second object was the flag, because we need to be with our country, and stand with it for whatever it is that we need to pay attention to it for.

Lastly, the white teddy bear. She states that the white teddy bear, represents family, and that family should always be really important.

But obviously, in her eyes, America, is more important than you heritage, and the people that you probably care for. America, is more important, that what makes it up, this American dreamland, is full of people, who are happy and live alone, like you.

Obviously.

Actually, she doesn't live alone. She apparently has a dog that she brought to the service a few times, and she apparently just goes to the from of the church, and sleeps on the Pulpit.

Yeah. So that is something that is happening in the real world.

So, family is less important than our country, which is already turning to shit, and now that she has stated this, she sends them back, but now before giving them stuff.

A little cross

And a little flag

I would have totally actually gone up there if she was giving us family members, in the form of stuffed animals.

Anyway, she gives them to the children, and then, she starts preaching about something in the book of Corinthians, I do believe.

So, when she starts talking, she starts talking about how us, as individuals, become astray from God, and that we should try to find our way back to him.

But here's the amazing thing.

One second, she is talking about how we hide in the shadows of God, and the next, she is talking about how her GPS goes red, if she drives to fast down the road.

I just left.

I didn't say anything, I just needed to find a cold, dark room, where I could just cool off my brain, so that I don't fry any more brain cells than I already have. Because not only have I fried many of my own brain cells, but I'm pretty sure that I've fried some of my friends brain cells myself.

Anyway, after about 5 minutes of sitting, and contemplating life, because that was literately what I was doing, I come back.

And somewhere while I was gone, she somehow went from her GPS, to how recently her dog had sat under her computed desk, and had somehow reset her whole computer, by some sort of pedal on the bottom.

So, first off, what kind of computer has a pedal, that can reset the computer by the press of it.

Two, why is the pedal just sitting out so openly, that a dog can lay on it, and wipe out you computer.

And third, why is it that you have a computer that has to have a pedal to reset it all?

Obviously, the producers of this computer, has made a computer, that was so bad, that they had to make a pedal that could wipe out the computer, because the computer wasn't capable to have the option that you could just click a special option in the computer settings or something that you can use.

Also, why is there no protection, or lock to reset it all, and if you were to press this pedal, why not have it so that if you press it, the screen would say "Are you sure that you want to restart this computer? If you do, you cannot regain all of the information contained on it. The system will need to shut down, and be restarted for the process to be complete." You know, all of that stuff.

So, after settling back down into the seat that I was in, I had the most confused look on my face like, what the hell is going on, kind of face.

So, I look at the bulletin for what was next, and what do you know? The next part of the service we are going to sing. We are singing the National Anthem.

Now, don't give me the "Tomorrow is Independence Day" bullshit, ok. She obviously has services like this all of the time, to have all of this stuff, and just be all, 'America is the best' person.

You say Oh-Ra, and I say, KYS.

Anyway, after the service, I help get everything all wrapped up, with turning of the technological stuff, burning the service onto CD's, eating a lot of donuts because I've been missing meals all of the last week, stuff like that.

So, afterwards, we go home, and I go into my room, to watch some Orange is the New Black, and just do stupid stuff like that, because I am just a lazy person, always on either Netflix, YouTube, Wattpad, or a plate of food in front of me, while I settle in to get on these things, with my Taquito's that I just shoved into the microwave.

Yay me, and my food.

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Thanks for the reading.

Bye