The Refugees

Chapter 3: Ash

Edited

"Ash..."

"Mom?"

I am in a void. There is nothing but darkness around me. A cold, unreassuring black seems to slowly seep into my heart as I feel lonely and haunted.

"Ash, honey. Everything will be alright." She whispers in a distant yet ubiquitous voice.

The longed-for yet unattainable presence I desperately search for and am unable to reach infiltrates my whole being, my soul and I find myself pursuing in the void for something that can't be.

"MOM?!'

I toss and turn in all directions, frantically hunting for my mom in this endless darkness. My heartbeat quickens at the lack of a response and my fingers precariously reach out for something to hold, something to touch, anything to make me feel okay again. My fingertips tingle and my eyes suddenly feel awfully dry and sting as tears threaten to spill. Goosebumps appear on my skin as I long for my mother's touch.

But the voice is gone. And I'm all alone.

My knees buckle and I fall to the floor, the tears streaming down my face as I sob uncontrollably.

Come back, mom.

Come back.

My eyes open in a start, my breaths hasty and desperate. I feel tears in the corner of my eyes and they widen as I am unable to believe that I'm actually crying. I bring a hand to my face as the tears roll down my cheekbone to then reach my ears in a chilling realization. I hear the soothing sound of running water and I look around as I sit up.

Where am I?

Then I remember with a shiver what has happened up until now, every detail.

Every time I believe I am cold-hearted and robotic, my past comes from behind me to drag me down with it, with a chilling reminder of what it's like to feel pain. It's like a warning sign, never letting me forget why I am the way I am.

Fake, emotionless. These personality traits are all part of my protection, my safety net.

It's easier to turn everything off, to not feel anything. That way, I can never get hurt again the way I was hurt before.

They're gone, the voice reminds me.

I know but they visit me in my head far too often than they should.

Savannah comes out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her body. Her long wet hair clings to her shoulders, appearing darker than it was last night, and her body looks fragile, able to break at any given moment.

Weak.

And I can no longer be weak. Not for me, not for her. I must be strong. If only I was stronger back then...

As Savannah sees me her cheeks turn red with a frown and she grabs her clothes quickly before returning to the security of the bathroom.

Girls, I sigh in annoyance.

I get up, get dressed quickly and head downstairs to see Robert having breakfast. I know Savannah's going to come down any minute now.

"Hey." I say casually.

"Morning. Sleep well?"

"Not really."

"Must be tough."

I stay silent unsure on how I'm meant to answer that. I don't want to talk about it. Maybe something's wrong with me, but if it means I don't feel pain, then it's worth being an emotionless asshole.

Robert nods because I know he understands my situation, my life. Much more than he ever could, or anyone else for that matter.

"Did you prepare your bag already?" Robert asks, changing the conversational topic as he sips his morning coffee.

"No, didn't have time."

"Do it before you leave, you never know when you might need it."

"Don't we have at least 24 hours before the notice is up?"

"We do but being prepared is always necessary, Ash."

I nod as Robert keeps his dark brown eyes stern and focused as he looks at me. Tough love they call it. I like it like that, it's more reassuring and feels more real.

Savannah joins us soon after, unaware of our short-lived conversation. Someone like her wouldn't possibly understand me.

She doesn't need to.

I hurry upstairs and get my stuff ready before coming back down with my bag.

"I'm ready." I tell Robert.

"Good." And he allows himself to look at me with pride and kindness as he would his daughter.

"So what now?" Savannah asks, still obviously hurt that Robert didn't explain everything to her.

"His fake name is Rudy. He's going to school with you."

"Why? People will immediately realize he's not normally here."

"Most of them don't care, Savannah."

"Then you've never met Charlie. He despises the Surfacers."

"That's his own problem. Mr. Denham is a close friend of mine and knows of Ash and this situation and since he's teaching all day today, he won't call attention to him."

"Sure, but I doubt that'll work." She comments with a lack of enthusiasm, avoiding his gaze. But then again when am I ever enthusiastic myself? She turns to me now, inspecting me. "I see the hoodie and cap have returned."

I ignore her and open the door.

"Bye." She says dismissively to her father before going out the door. I simply follow her whilst keeping a low profile.

I need this to work even if it is the last thing I do.

~~~

Hey guys! I changed a little bit the storyline in hopes of making it more interesting! What do you guys think?

Song: Ghostly Kisses - Roses