Life Of Anonymous

1

July 3rd.

I don't know why but if i am by myself with my music. I can't help but think. Why am I in life. I have no purpose here. Then when the people I love leave my life they come back. I can't help but cry. I shake so badly. I think why can't I just put a gun to my head and end it. I will stop feeling all this pain that I keep building up.

Why can't I just turn off emotions. Why can't I leave this nightmare for once. Is blasting my music sitting in the dark silently crying the only way...for me.

I wake up every morning putting on a mask hiding behind a mask. In this world of people. There are people with titles. Mine is Mistake. Because that's what I am. I am a Mistake. A mistake that should vanish from this world. And nobody will know who I am...because nobody knows the real me. Because I hide behind a mask.

A mask that hides a mistake like me. Looking in the mirror seeing myself I feel sick to my stomach because I am...fake....

I cut my wrist I cut my thighs...because i don't think. I do a simple thing...forget...

Forget...I wish I could do that as simple as a blink of an eye.

I wish I could take my last breath anytime I'd want too...I wish I could be a phone battery when its being used then dies. I could have the painful memories playback until my last percentage. But I would never wake up.

I want to walk...to run AWAY..from everything. I wish to tell people but I can't because secretly I'm terrified.

But in the end it doesn't matter because nobody would miss me. Not even the people I care about so much....

All of them mean a lot to me but I'm going insane. By holding all of this in for so long. I wish I wasn't scared to...end right here..