Forever and Always (a Katniss and Peeta fanfiction)

Chapter 8

He looks up at me with a sorry look. A look that so upsetting and concerning it makes me breakdown. I quickly wipe the tear that slipped out of my eye and head back into the building even though I'm not supposed to. I hear someone follow me. I keep wiping my tears. "Katniss" I hear haymitch say behind me. I don't stop. I just want to get out of here. he puts his hand on my shoulder and turns me around.

"You need to go back out there" he says. I shake my head. he then takes my hand and drags me. "No haymitch stop" I say. I drag my heels so it's hard for him to drag me. After a few minutes of this, the doors open again and Peeta and my fellow tribute and Effie come in. Haymitch lets go. Peeta engulfs me in his arms and I cry into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry" he chokes. I am not strong enough, nor am I brave enough, to go through the games a third time.

Peeta lets me cry into his shoulder until Effie says, "well, we better get going" her normal perky voice is sad. I calm down enough to make it back to the train. I get on and run to my bedroom. "Katniss" Peeta calls behind me. I hear him close behind. I slam my bedroom door in his face. I lay on the bed and cry again. I curl up into a ball. I don't want to go into the arena. I can't go into the arena.
I eventually cry myself to sleep.

Peeta's POV

"Let her cool off" haymitch says as I get up off the ground from her door knocking me down. "She shouldn't have to do that again! she can't handle it! she was just beginning to get better from the rebellion." I say. He nods because we both know I'm correct.

We eat dinner without katniss that night. It's silent the whole time. We suddenly start to hear screams. She's having a nightmare. I get up and hurry to her room. I open her door to find her curled up in a ball, screaming, shaking and sweating. I kneel in front of her. "Katniss wake up you're just dreaming" I say shaking her a little. She doesn't wake up. "Katniss. come on wake up" I say and shake her again. Her eyes pop open and she starts panting. She doesn't acknowledge me. "It was just a dream" I whisper. I realize that everybody else in standing in the doorway and watching. She continues to stare into thin air. I sit on the bed next to her. She still doesn't acknowledge me. This isn't good. I put my arms around her small figure and pull her into my lap. My back is against the headboard. She puts her head on my chest and puts her arms around me. I kiss her forehead.
I can't imagine what's going on in her head. whatever it is, it's probably terrifying. Haymitch gets everybody out of the bedroom. when the door closes she begins to cry. I find myself crying too. I don't want her to go in. I want to go in with her. I hold her closer and tighter. If she dies I will never forgive myself. I can't let her die.

I'm able to calm her down to where she's not crying. she doesn't speak. After a while she falls asleep again. She'll probably wake up if I set her down so I just try to fall asleep.

***

I wake up and katniss is still in my lap, curled up into a ball, asleep. I shake her a little bit to wake her up. Her eyes slowly open and then close.

"Wake up, it's time for breakfast" she doesn't move. I kiss her forehead. She moves a little. She gets out of my lap and gets up.

When I get up she lays back down. "Come on" I say. "You have to eat" I say. When she doesn't answer, I give up and go eat breakfast.

"Where's katniss?" haymitch asks. "In her room, she wouldn't come" "how did she sleep?" "three nightmares" I say. He frowns. Kai is already eating. "You ready for the tribute's parade?" I ask him. "I guess?" He says shrugging his shoulders. I nod. There's an awkward silence. I quickly finish my breakfast and go back to katniss' room. she's still lying there. I lay next to her. I stay with her until we arrive at the next building for the parade.