The Business of Emotion

[12] Change

this is short, but i made it like that on purpose.

Daphnee stared at the far out ground, it's cracked cement blocks tempting her. The wind blowing harshly as her hair whipped in different directions, her clothing ruffling against it. Her shoes placed neatly inside her apartment as she stared too close outside her windows. She could see people stop in their tracks and stare up ahead, some even bothered to shout not to do it. Some took their phones out and captured the moment, Daphnee sighed slowly, looking up at the sky, gray and dull, like her life.

People only care when you're dying or you're pretty. Now who turned their heads when one is about to die? Isn't it too late for that? Daphnee glared at the people below her, the wind blowing her hair on her face. She took one leg out of the window, and they reacted violently, in a distance, she could hear the firetruck's sirens. She let out a shaky breath, taking the other leg outside the window, her hands holding tightly on the rails

One step.

All it takes is one step.

Daphnee eyed the ground, the gravity seems to be tempting her, her stomach felt like it was lurching. She was tempted to jump. She saw the firetruck parking at the side of the apartment building, and she soon started to get irritated. It wasn't too long when they heard someone pounding on her door.

"Open the door miss!" Daphnee grit her teeth and craned her head over her shoulder.

"Go away!" She yelled.

"If you won't open, we'll have to break down this door."

"I'll jump if you do!"

She heard mumbling through her door, their voices barely inaudible but she didn't care. She just wants to die. Then, just as she was about to blink, one of the firemen came outside the building telling one of their teams, they were forced to raise a ladder. One of the firemen climbed up the ladder as it reached to her level. Daphnee watched him climb the last step and look at her.

She showed her irritation. "Just let me die!"

The fireman rose his hand to stop her outburst. "Okay, okay, take it easy." He spoke slowly.

Daphnee breathed in and out and let one of her fingers slowly slip from the rail. "You're wasting your time."

The fireman tried to grab her arm but she pulled away before he can even touch her. "Don't touch me!"

He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Okay, I won't. I promise, just let me help you."

Daphnee looked down and saw the people were still videoing her, she nudged them with her head. "Fine, first, get rid of their phones."

He nodded and spoke through his walkie talkie. After he dropped it back to his uniform, he turned around and sat on the ladder, hand gripping tightly on the sides as if he were sitting on the swing. "Okay, so why do you want to die?" 

Daphnee watched the other firemen ask the civilians to drop their phones and delete whatever they had inside.

She glared at him. "Don't talk my way out of this."

"Just answer me."

Daphnee got irritated by his persistence and snapped. "Because my life sucks, okay!? My parents are alcoholics and abusive, my boyfriend dumped me after knowing I lost the baby, and I lost the only stable job that I had. Now I have 7 years of debts to pay!" Daphnee's voice broke as tears start to drop from her eyes. She wiped it with one hand. "So please, just let me end my suffering."

He blinked and rubbed the sweat off his face. "Wow, it totally sucks."

Daphnee bit the inside of her cheek, she felt like slapping his face. She eyed the firemen that readied a safety trampoline under.

He looked up in the sky and at her. "I was never good at school. I bullied people until they all committed suicide. I made other's lives hell. When school finished, I changed. The guilt that their deaths were caused by me, always haunting me, I wake up in the middle of the night, their faces contorted and terrified. Even now, I am still guilty. So I did my best, passed college, and now I save lives. Ironic isn't it?" He laughed like he wished it was all a joke. "I could never forgive myself. People died because of me, and I really wished I was the one who died instead. They were good people, better than me, and now they're gone." He let out a tear drop in his eye.

He looked at her with a sad smile. "Don't be one of them. I know you're better than this, I know you can go through this."

Daphnee's jaw trembled, her hands shaking at the rails, her vision was blurry from the tears that were continuously dropping. She spoke with a low shaky voice. "I can't. I-I'm not strong enough. I don't w-want to suffer anymore. I'm too weak."

He offered his hand. "Don't jump, please." She looked down, wanting to jump.

Daphnee shook her head. "I don't deserve to live." Her knees was starting to give away.

"Neither do I, but look at us."

Daphnee hesitantly gulped, she turned to him, her small hand reaching out for his. Her hand trembling, she was about to grab his hand but her foot slipped.

Her eyes widened.

The feeling of falling.

Nothing to hold on.

She felt the air press on her body as she closed her eyes.

His hand grabbed her wrist, pulling her close as her feet found the ladder steps. Her whole body crashed to his, trembling, crying, she whispered in a hoarse voice.

"I don't want to die." She repeated it after clutching on his uniform tightly.

She heard him whisper to her. "Shh, it's okay. I got you. I got you. . ."

-

Daphnee waited on the hospital bed, it's been a few years since that incident. Reminiscing the moment, she slowly smiled, happy that she didn't end her life. Her eyes stared at the windows, the clouds soon dispersing, the sun's rays shooting down to earth. She heard the door open and watched the nurse enter with a big smile, carrying something wrapped in a pink towel.

"Shh, it's okay. Your mommy is right here." The nurse whispered sweetly, handing the baby to Daphnee.

Daphnee burst in happiness and in tears as she held her daughter in her arms. The baby reaching out to the air, Daphnee's pinky reached her tiny chubby hands as she grasped it. Daphnee awed at her beauty, her plump cheeks and beautiful blonde hair, just like her father's. She heard someone burst through the door, Daphnee saw her husband, wearing the same fireman uniform.

"I got here as fast as I can." He spoke, voice raspy.

Daphnee chuckled to herself. "Dear, you have rubble everywhere on you."

He let out a small laugh and approach his wife and child. Kissing her on the forehead, Daphnee smiled as she watched him adore their beautiful child.

THE END

is this a feels enough a chapter for you? or did i fail again, anyways, truth be told, i dont know how to make a feel-y chapter. i tried again today, so i guess its sorta okay???

if it sucks, im so sorry.

yeah, cliche-ish she ended up with fireman guy, but im like, itd be weird if its another guy since i never mentioned anyone else. who knows, she could marry one of the people who videoed her, thatd be weirder.

hope u liked this. :v