Just Cruising

Epilogue

I was standing outside a beautiful house across the continent. I texted Fin that I was outside and was waiting by the door. As I waited out in the sunny weather with my duffel bag. I started thinking about the last few weeks, as I find myself doing more and more often.

After I told Jacob who it was on the phone, there was only silence. I waited about 7 awkward silent seconds before asking if he was still there. I heard him take a breath and reply that he couldn't believe it. I laughed and we were launched into a long conversation that spanned over the course of 2 hours. We talked and laughed, reminisced and cried. It was heart wrenching.

We were close to the end of our talk when he said, "I'd like to see you again sometime," and that sent my heart beating at an even faster pace than before. I couldn't believe my ears. But I was ecstatic, and happily obliged. So, here I was, after hours of negotiating with my parents to let me travel across the country, finding a plane ticket that was reasonably priced, and finishing preparations like packing, I'd landed here. And I was so nervous my stomach hurt.

The door swung open and I saw Fin. I ran over and gave him a hug, then retreated back to my bag and hefted it up on shoulder.

"I can take that for you, love" He said, offering his hand towards my heavy bag.

"No I'm alright, but thank you," I replied, and continued into the house. It was a beautiful style of Spanish with burnt oranges and colours like autumn sunrise, but then there was a twist of Mediterranean as well. All in all though, it was gorgeous. I looked around in actual awe at this place. It was so tastefully furnished and decorated, from the crystal chandelier hanging from the ceilings to the banisters of carved wood to the throw pillows on the chaise lounge chairs surrounding the pool. This truly was amazing.

After I finally regained some self-control, I closed my trap shut and looked over at Fin. He was grinning, and motioning for me to follow. He made hand gestures that meant I had to be quiet.

Ah, here's another thing. Jacob knew I was coming over but he doesn't know when. He probably thought I'd come in a few months not a few weeks.

We tip toed up to his room which had a creme colour door that was closed. The door handle was made of swirly ornate wrought iron.

I watched with anticipation, nerves, and downright fear as Fin knocked politely on the door.

I couldn’t see his face because he didn’t open the door very much and the light from the windows behind him created shadows on his face, obscuring it and making it impossible for me to see it clearly. A pair of beautiful eyes caught hold of me, capturing me. We stared at each other in surprise, until Jacob started closing the door on me. He wanted to shut me out, but I wouldn’t let that happen.

I placed my foot in front of the door so it wouldn’t close then I turned towards him. His eyes were full of surprise but I didn’t care about his surprise. I flew across the country to see him and make amends, not to be cast away like a piece of filth from his life before the accident. I don’t like feeling like such an insignificant part of his life when he was such a significant part of mine.

“If you think I came here to be cast aside, you’re wrong.” I say.

He looks at me for a second, then chuckles and says, “You were never meant to be cast aside, but I’m scared of what the outcome of this visit will be.”

“What kind of outcome are you scared of most?” I ask, intrigued but also upset by his words.

“You don’t want to see my face. It’s disgusting. Just leave me alone, because I know I’ll just scare you off.” He responds, looking down at his feet.

“How do you know I’ll be scared off? How, on this planet Earth, could you possibly know what my feelings are? I think your acting like an immature child who’s afraid to be happy again, and enjoys wallowing in their own self-pity and anguish. Either grow a pair of be prepared to never see me again!” I say, and then I take my foot away from the door and turn to walk away. The tears are welling up, obscuring my vision. I use the wall beside me to brace myself. I’m about to keep going when I hear;

“Wait!”

I freeze in my tracks and slowly turn around. He’s running towards me, but it’s not him exactly. It’s not just his face, but his demeanor. The way he takes his strides, and the way his mouth slants a little to one side, and the hurt in his eyes. I know I’m staring but I can’t help it.

“It would be nice if you stopped staring at some point.” He says, a little bit angry.

I try to step away from him, but he grabs my arm. I look him straight in the eye and say;

“Why are you mad at me? You’re a new person and I just need to see you in a different light. I understand that you’re hurting and bruised. I’m still hurting too, but this can’t possibly be the only option for us.” I mean every word.

His eyes start prickling up with tears as well. He tries swiping them away but one escapes and rolls down his cheek. I step closer to him and just embrace him. He’s so tense at first. I know it’s weird but he needs to understand that I’m here for him. He eventually returns me embrace and we sit like that for a long while.

We eventually turn around and go to his room. We sit on his bed and talk. We talk and talk and talk about anything and everything, from his surgeries to current events.

I end up staying at his house for the night. We have dinner together and he gives me a guest bedroom just across the hall from him.

That night though, I can’t sleep. I toss and turn, my mind burning with fear. I wake up suddenly. My back is damp from my perspiration. I get up and start walking around a bit, trying to calm my heart down. I somehow I end up in front of Jacob’s closed door. I don’t know how I got there, but I know it means something.

I silently open his door, letting a sliver of light in. I see him lying in bed, and it looks so peaceful.

“Come here,” he says.

I stand there for a moment but then I step in and close the door. I quietly walk over and crawl into his warm, open arms. He drapes his blanket over me, and soon I’m dozing off. I feel him shift a bit, and then his lips graze the side of my head. Colour blooms in my cheeks, and I turn around to face him. His smile is so modest but I see his cheeks burning too. Then I slowly lean forward, and try to kiss his cheeks, but at the last moment he turns his face, and our lips lock in a heavenly bond. When we break apart, we just look at each other and smile.

We fall asleep like that, facing each other, and to be honest, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

The End