Phan Drabbles

Tokophobia

Warning: mpreg. If your are uncomfortable with male pregnancy phanfictions then please skip this one. Please don't leave nasty comments if you are one of those people.

Tokophobia is a pathological fear of pregnancy that can lead to avoidance of child birth. It can be classified as primary or secondary. Primary is a morbid fear of childbirth in a person, who has no previous experience of pregnancy.

A carrier is a man that is capable of carrying a child, hence the name carrier. What happens is when a baby is developing in its mothers womb and it's time for the reproductive system to develop a female system grows. But for some unknown reason to doctors the baby grows male sex organs. So the baby is biologically a boy and has a penis but has a female reproductive system instead of a male reproductive system. In conclusion, a carrier is a man that can have a baby like a woman but must have a c-section to birth the baby.

Sadly, Dan Howell whom is a carrier, is tokophobic.

Ever since Dan was told about his condition he was afraid of it. A partial cause of his fear was that he was made aware at too young of an age. He was only five years old when it was vaguely explained to him. Another cause of his fear was that he was made to keep it a secret. He was taught that it wasn't something to talk about until he met someone he was going to be with for the rest of his life. But that didn't stop Dan from telling a few people. The final factor was that when Dan was eleven his mum and new brother almost died when she was giving birth.

At first, Dan didn't want to put a name to his phobia. To him it'd make everything too real. It would set it stone and he could never reverse it. But one night, he broke down and googled his fear and learned that he had tokophobia. Dan was around fourteen at the time.

Soon after his self diagnosis, Dan went to the doctor but all they had to say that they couldn't help him unless he became pregnant. If the time did come, his doctor would prescribe a medication that would suppress his fear and anxiety.

Dan's phobia worsened when his sister Marlowe, who is the middle child, had a miscarriage at only sixteen. Dan was nineteen when that happened to his sister and it effected him tremendously. Not only did he fear pregnancy and childbirth but he became afraid of losing the baby if he ever did get pregnant.

Dan envies his little brother. Chase isn't a carrier like him. Dan was the unfortunate accident and Chase was the planned miracle. Sure his parents wanted three kids, but they never thought one of them would have a strange medical condition that only 4% of all males on the planet have.

Dan's parents didn't hate him for being a carrier. In their eyes it wasn't a bad thing but it wasn't exactly a good thing either. It wasn't Dan's fault that he was like that.

Through Daniel's entire childhood he kept his condition a secret to almost everyone. Only the people Dan knew he trusted were told about it and all had been supportive. Dan's best friend, PJ, even cried, told him that his condition didn't define him, and that it was perfectly okay to be the way he is. He said something similar when Dan came out of the closet. Truthfully, he really wasn't in the closet, he just confirmed everyone's suspicions. He never told anyone, other than his doctors, about his tokophobia.

Shortly after Dan turned twenty, he met a twenty-four year old named Phil Lester through none other than his best friend, PJ.

Dan and Phil quickly became inseparable. They spent a year being close friends before spending many months flirting without either of them making the final move. And somewhere along the line Dan tells Phil about his condition and phobia.

Dan was the one to ask Phil to be his boyfriend not too long before the second year anniversary of their friendship. Phil, of course, accepted his friend's offer and he became Dan's first boyfriend.

One year after the pair got into a relationship they moved into a flat together and Phil proposed on Dan's twenty-third birthday. At the young age of just twenty-four, Dan married his twenty eight year old partner.

Approximately a year and a half after their wedding is present day. Dan and Phil make videos for the internet, have written a book, and went on tour. They can accurately say they live comfortably and enjoy their jobs.

But the real story begins when Dan notices he's been feeling poorly every morning for a few weeks. He starts to panic and immediately sees a doctor.

"Congratulations Mr. And Mr. Lester you are going to be parents!" The obgyn announces cheerfully. Dan begins hyperventilating and Phil quickly explains his husband has tokophobia.

"Dr. Biar Dan has what's called tokophobia so this news, although happy to you and I, is terrifying to Dan."

"I am terribly sorry! I dont remember seeing that in any of his files. You should schedule an appointment with Dan's primary doctor as soon as possible."

"We will." Phil tries to calm Dan down for the time being by steadying his husbands breathing and whispering soothing words into his ear.

The next day, Dan and Phil see the doctor and Dan is prescribed the medication he was told about when he was fourteen. The soon to be fathers learn that dan is pregnant with both a boy and a girl. Through most of the pregnancy the medicine works perfectly and the babies stay healthy. But, towards the final month, Dan's medication stops working all of a sudden and his high stress and anxiety levels begin affecting the twins.

Dan and Phil go back to the doctor and Dan is prescribed a new medication for the final month and then a different one for the following month after the babies are born.

Dan gives birth to a beautiful baby girl named Lily Jane Lester and a bouncing baby boy named Dillon Elliot Lester.

Dil and Lil for short.