For the past two days I procrastinated filming my video. Luna's first birthday is about two weeks, and I've used that as an excuse saying Im planning a little party for her. Me and joji dont have a lot of friends here with us, so all we're doing for Luna is getting her a little cupcake.
I am actually going to film the video today. Joji set up the camera and lights for me, but not the green screen so the video will look like its for my channel rather than on FF.
All morning I've been thinking about what to say in the video. I don't really know what to say, or how to say anything. Should I say I might not be uploading anymore, I could die, or ill keep uploading when I can.
Finally, I'm going to stop procrastinating, I going to start filming he video. Im most likely going to cry, and then I'm going to get comments about crying for views.
Joji was on the bed, he was doing something on his laptop waiting for me to start filming.
"What time did you go to sleep last night ?" I asked him.
He looked really tired, he had dark bags around his eyes,"I dont know. A long ass time after you went to bed."
"You should sleep for a while." I said
"Just while you record ?" He asked
"Or longer." I laughed
"I want to go to the store to get some new clothes." He said
"You can go, but I think you should get some sleep in." I said
"I did sleep last night, I just need some coffee." He said
"Well if you go maybe look for something for Luna and Karim." I said
"And for you." He said
"No, I don't need anything." I said
"You haven't gotten anything new in a long time." He said
"I know, but id rather our kids get something than me." I said
"Fine, but don't be mad if I come home and I got you a new dress or something." He smirked
"Whatever." I laughed
He got up, he kissed me and left the room. I heard the door open, then close. I rubbed my watermelon sized stomach, and stood in front of the camera. I hit record, and stood back.
I took a deep breath in,"Hey guys! I know I haven't made a video in a while, but I'm back for now. As you can probably tell, I'm 7 months pregnant. And you might ask shes pregnant again ? Jeez how many kids is she going to have ? This is my last kiddo, I dont want anymore." I laughed,"The main point of this video is to talk about two major things, my health, and this channel. About my health, I was recently diagnosed with malignant brain cancer. Now I don't want any of you to freak out and google shit and worry about me. I'm fine, I'm going to chemotherapy, I'm fighting, and I will beat this. Trust me guys." I felt the tears forming, but I fought them. "Secondly, this channel. Honestly I never really know what to do for videos, and I just go off of what joji thinks. After I take my shot from chemo, I am extremely tired and have no energy. If you saw Joji's tweet, you'd see me passed out in the car, and he had to carry me inside to our home. I try my hardest to do stuff for all of you to entertain you, but I just can't anymore. I'm standing here in front of you looking fine, and I am genuinely ok, so please dont worry about me. I apologize in advanced if I dont make anymore videos. I will most likely appear on Filthy Frank's channel, and when I have my baby, and there might be a couple videos every rare moon. But maybe just for now, or forever, this is goodbye. I love you all, have a good day, love one another."
