a week later and things are the same, you think after almost 2 weeks id be somewhat over him well I'm not. he's still on my mind 24/7 he's all I think about all I want. I hate myself for everything I did to mess us up, yeah maybe there's better out there or I didn't deserve him but maybe I was okay with that not perfect boyfriend the one that messed up here and there because I'm in love with him as a person and mistakes or your past don't define anyone as a person. I knew I could always count on him to be there and help me through whatever situation I was going through but now he's not there anymore. it's hard going from depending on someone fully for 10 months then just one day being forced to live without them completely, it's hard I may fake a smile or fake a laugh here or there but inside its killing me basically eating me alive. all I want is how it used to be back, why do I always push everyone out? why do I always make stupid decisions? why do people always leave? I'm still not giving up I won't I'm determined to make things right
