Changes.............

3

It's been a few days since Leilani kissed me, and things are awkward. But, she's still here, so that's something. I had my support group this morning, and once that was over I met Mitch. He didn't know anything about the kiss and I didn't want to say anything. It would never turn into anything, so there was no point in telling anyone.

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"So, how are you getting along with Leilani?"

I sat down on his couch, and looked at him.

"Fine. She hasn't mentioned Daniel, so that's good."

"Well, I haven't talked about him for two years, so she knows something happened there."

I smiled at him, thinking about much he helped me.

"Yeah, I remember you helping me tell everyone and-"

"Hey, what are friends for?"

He ruffled my hair and I glared at him. We get along great, he just likes to tease me sometimes.

"Hey!"

I laughed, and he shook his head.

"Seriously, Serena. You're my friend, and I wanted to help in any way I could. I know I didn't fully understand it all at the beginning but once you explained it, I tried to help."

"You did Mitch, more than you'll ever know."

I looked at him, and he could see how much I meant it.

"Like I said, that's what friends are for?"

I left a little while later, I had to get home.



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I took off my hoodie, thinking about everything. I really liked Leilani, but I was convinced she'd think I'm a freak.

Leilani walking in behind me distracted me.

"S......... Serena, can we....... Can we talk, please?"

She was upset, and I wanted to fix that. Even though, I knew what this was gonna be about, and I really didn't want to talk about this.

I walked out into the living room and sat down. She sat next to me, with her hands in her lap, fidgeting.

"I wanted to talk about what happened."

I didn't say anything, and she continued. She looked at me, and I knew something was about to happen. I didn't know what, but I knew something big was about to happen.

"I can see you like me Serena. But, you don't want to be with me. Why?"

Oh crap, how do I talk my way out of this?

I blushed, trying to figure out what to say.

"Leilani, I........ It's complicated. There's a lot you don't know and if you did, you wouldn't-"

"If this is about what I think it is, I know Serena and I don't care."

I looked up at her, surprised.

"What?"

She sighed and pulled my hands away from where they had been resting in my lap, and made me look at her.

"I know about you being transgender. I know about Daniel. I know, Serena, and I couldn't care less. I care about you because of who you are, nothing else."

All this time and she knew?

"Y...... You knew?"

She smiled, squeezing the hand she still held.

"Of course I knew. Mitch stopped talking about....... About Daniel. He started talking about Serena and............... Well, I figured it out. I want to be with you, Serena. I'll support you through everything, I don't care what it is."

I couldn't believe she knew all along and I didn't realize!

"I just...... I thought you didn't know and I was afraid."

I looked down at my lap, but she tilted my head up to look at her.

"Afraid of what, Serena?"

"I was afraid you'd........ That you'd think I'm a freak for being like this."

Leilani gasped, shaking her head.

"I could never....... Screw it."

She leaned in and kissed me. She actually kissed me!

She pulled away, leaning her forehead against mine.

"I could never think that, Serena. I don't care if you're different, you'll always be Serena. And before you ask. Not I don't care about that. You're a woman to me, Serena. That doesn't mean anything to me."

She kissed me again, and noticed I was a little upset.

"Did I say something wrong?"

I shook my head, leaning back a little.

"No, it's just....... When you said you didn't care about that............... It got to me, I was worried about that. You said you're gay and-"

She put her finger to my lips, and I stopped.

"Stop that. I know what I said, but I care about you. Not that."

She kissed me again, and moved a little closer. She was trying to be careful, and avoid making me too uncomfortable.

"I care about you, and I want to support you through all of this. I do have one question though."

"What is it, Leilani?"

"The injections...... They're not for diabetes, are they?"

I shook my head, thinking about that.

"No, they're not. They're testosterone blockers. I take estrogen tablets as well, but they're in my room. Are you OK with all of this?"

She grabbed my other hand, holding both of mine in hers.

"I just want to understand. I noticed how you always left the room to use the injections. You don't have to do that, I don't mind."

I looked away, thinking about that.

"I wasn't sure how you'd react to that, and...... Well, it kinda hurts when I use them."

"I could help if you want. I know how to do that, and it may help with the pain. Did you use the one for today?"

I shook my head, realizing I hadn't. She stood up, pulling me up with her and dragged me to the kitchen.

"I want you to see that I'm OK with this."

She pulled out a chair for me, and I sat down as she got one of the injections. She could see I was nervous, and knelt in front of me.

"I care about you, and want to help in any way I can. Why do you think I keep reminding you about these?"

I nodded, feeling a little nervous.

"I know, I just never had anyone do this for me. I always done it myself."

"Well, lets see if I can help. Can you lift your shirt a little for me?"

I hesitated and she just smiled at me, waiting. I realized she wasn't going to move, and I lifted my shirt.

"I'll be careful, I just wanna be here for you, and if I can help with this I will. You ready?"

I bit my lip, and nodded. I was easier than when I done it myself and didn't hurt as much.

She looked up at me, and I put my shirt down.

"How was that?"

I sighed, thinking about this. Everything was happening so fast, but now I could see that she wanted to be with me.

"O....... OK. It didn't hurt as much."

That made her smile, and she stood up.

"Good. Like I said, anything I can do to help, I will. I mean it, Serena. I don't care about you being different. You're you, and that's more than enough for me."