Blackout

The Glow

Daniel stood rigidly still with a vacant look in his eyes, ensuring Clair that he was gone, that he no longer existed in the real world but only in his own mind.

Both Clair and Gary stood almost as rigidly, feeling too scared to move because of the knowledge they both have about what he was capable of in this condition.

Seeing only blurred objects and bright lights, Daniel didn't notice the tension. The usual anger he felt was replaced with fear as his expressionless face stared at the two blinding glows in front of him, one red and one blue. He wasn't afraid of the blue glow, this one calmed him in a way unimaginable, but the red glow terrified him. Continuing to function, the part of the brain that reasoned told him why he was terrified. Red symbolised pain, danger, blood.

Daniel had never had reason when he blacked out before, so this just increased his fear, knowing that if he was to snap completely he would remember it this time.

Other than the low monotonous buzzing sound that permeated through his ear drums, another murmured sound caught his attention. Once again his reason piped in and told him what the noise was, voices.

For several minutes, Daniel strained to hear what the voices were saying but it was no use, he couldn't form the words correctly in his mind.

The palpitations that he suffered lessened slightly, as the striking blue glow hesitantly drifted it's way in his direction. It was so beautiful that he couldn't take his eyes from it, even though he knew the red glow stood in its place.

Closing in on Daniel, the blue glow began to speak, but once again he couldn't identify what it was saying. Briefly he thought it was calling his name.

Slowly, the glow began to wrap something around each of his hands, like it was holding them tenderly, like a lover would. They were hands, he realised after a short time. Happiness burst through him just at this one touch, bringing him peace.

Until he noticed movement from the red glow, causing his hands to fist firmly around the blue's. A loud high pitched cry echoed, jolting him to snap his head back to the blue glow, which now held a figure within. Clair.

Grimacing, she turned her head to look at the red glow, that still held no identity for Daniel. It was clear she was speaking to it, saying words that couldn't be deciphered and although Daniel knew he was hurting her, he couldn't let his grip ease as he felt a sense of impending danger.

The red glow started moving then suddenly disappeared behind an object as Clair, still illuminated in the hypnotising glow, turned back to look at Daniel, his body now allowing him to release his vice like hold.

Daniel watched Clair's lips move as she spoke to him, concentrating hard to hear her. Finally he could make out a sentence.

"Daniel, please hear what I am saying." It was quiet and didn't sound like Clair at all, however he was just happy to be able to understand anything.

Unable to will himself to reply and not able to nod his head, he gently squeezed her hands to indicate he heard. Clair smiled warmly at him, which made him want to cry, again.

"I knew you was still in there. Let's try and sit you down." Clair, followed by her blue ora, took three attempts to budge Daniel from his position.

With his vision still blurred and his surroundings unrecognisable, he willingly followed her, because he trusted her.

It took Clair a little longer to sit him down once they reached the couch. Eventually, he fell rather than sat back into the cushions then suddenly sat up straight, startling Clair who still held onto his hands.

Daniel looked up slowly into her fear filled eyes then squeezed her hands to tell her that he wouldn't harm her. He noticed her breath a sigh of relief then sit on the coffee table in front of him.

"Daniel, can you still hear me?" After he squeezed her hands, which took longer than it had previously, Clair continued talking.

"Can you talk to me? Anything?" Daniel breathed heavy as he tried to speak.

"Just one word, Daniel. It's okay, you can do it." Clair encouraged him after he didn't respond, not even with a squeeze.

After a long pause and a few shallow breaths, one word passed his lips, the word that described how he felt at that moment, how he felt every day.

"Scared."

Daniel noticed a deep sadness reach Clair's eyes then he shuddered, realising very quickly that he was crying. What he would give if he could just see her, make her, happy.

Clair gently placed her palm against his wet cheek, causing him to lean into it.

"I know. Me too." Tears ran down her cheeks now and Daniel hated himself for it. This was his fault, he thought, as he held onto her hand tightly.

Brushing back her tears, Clair regained enough composure to voice what she was thinking as calmly and collected as possible.

"I think you need to try and sleep this off, okay?"

As way of an answer, Daniel carefully lowered himself down into a laying position, releasing Clair's hand to allow her to cover him over with a thin blanket that slung over the back of the couch.

"Sleep well Daniel." She whispered as she went to leave. However, just as she turned Daniels hand struck out and caught her by the wrist. It started her, but because he enclosed it softly, it didn't scare her. She swivelled slightly on her heals to look at him, but before she could ask what he needed, he spoke first. Two simple words that both warmed and froze Clair's heart.

"Love. You."