Secrets of the Gods

Chapter One

Warning: abuse. Also, this is the second version of Chapter One. If you find any errors feel free to point them out.

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Ignorance. There is nothing quite like blissful unknowing that lets a person believe a façade. Some say that ignorance is bliss, and that sometimes not knowing is better than a harder reality- one that may hurt. There are others who believe that truth is the best knowledge .

Two realities stand before you. You either don't know, or you do. You can bask in the unknown, or shine in the truth. I can't tell you which one I'd rather. I've lived with both, and can say that both options are relatively shitty. See that's the thing, you're always stuck between two decisions and neither yield desirable outcomes.

For instance, when you believe that your seemingly dashing boyfriend, who also happens to be the most attractive boy in school, is actually faithful and cares, you hope that it's the truth. Or, you pretend that he is, fooling yourself. But, when you find him sitting on a couch with his hands down some other chick's pants- cold, hard reality sinks in. It leaves you standing in some stranger's backyard-with a glass half filled with vodka and the other half with sparkling juice, wondering what to do.

You have two options: you either go in there and kick some ass, or you pick your sorry butt up and leave. You resort to, instead, console yourself with a larger bottle of vodka and less juice. One will give you temporary satisfaction and little pain, the other will give you longer satisfaction and more pain. So my point is: both outcomes are awful. Therefore, you have to make a decision, one that you alone can make, and that is: which of these two horrible options is a little less shitty than the other? Then, and only then, do you act.

Instead of doing what the normal human being would do, I tuck my long blonde hair behind my ear, walk into the room, and pour my drink on Reid Sutcliffe's head. See, but the difference is I don't stop there. Oh no, I ball my hand into a tight fist and swing as hard as I can. Nailed him right in the nose as he opened his mouth to say my name.

My options turn into reckless abandon pretty quickly. I would say that it is an uncommon occurrence, but that would be a lie and I don't particularly pride myself on being the greatest liar to walk this lonely earth.

So there the three of us stand with spectators eyes wide with surprise, staring. Reid's perfectly blonde hair had been knocked out of place and there is already traces of a bruise forming on his perfectly chiselled jawline. Maybe that's the problem. Maybe he is just too perfect. Or, at least, that's what I had thought.

"Fuck!" He exclaims as his hands fly to his face. I can't name the expression on the girl's face- maybe it's shock, who knows? I don't stay long enough for the aftermath, only heard the people clapping for me as I take what is left of my pride and storm off. I don't need praise for this and it won't be something that I look back on to bask in my glory. The only thing that runs through my body in this moment is pain.

So, in this case, ignorance might have been a gentler alternative to the harsh reality that presents itself to me. It could be worse though, there's always worse. Which isn't something I found out from watching sad children in commercials meant for you to cry at and feel sorry for. Again, I learnt that lesson through reality. And, there are too many thoughts that I simply cannot untangle. My brain is a mess of words and fantasies.

As I walk home with my phone clutched tightly in my hand I look to the stars, at least they would always be constant. But, then again, by the time their light reaches the earth they've long exploded, so the stars are only ghosts too. I shake my head. I can never seem to turn off this brain of mine, there are too many thoughts to fathom into words. Often times, I find myself unable to articulate what I mean properly.