As soon as we got home I excused myself to the bedroom. I couldn't stand being in the same room as him and not telling him anything. I still haven't been able to wrap my head around it. This is impossible; we'll not completely impossible, we never used those things you're supposed to use when you...you know. I pace the room, sweating like I just ran a triathlon. I push the hair out of my face and continue to pace. It is so hot in here, who turned up the heat.
I pick up the envelope and start praying to god it doesn't say what I think it says. I rip it open and tear the tattered envelope across the room, well as far as paper can get when you throw it, which is right next to me.
Before I can read the results, Rebekah barges in.
I quickly hide the letter under the pillow and give her an 'I'm not nervous but I would appreciate you it if you would leave' smile; which is just a regular smile by the way.
"Alright, spill the disgusting Lima beans Florence," she says and slams the door.
"What ever are you talking about Bekah," I ask and twirl my hair nonchalantly.
"What are you hiding," she rephrased it.
"I'm not hiding anything, I don't know why you would think that," I say and sit down on the pillow with the results.
"Nik has reason to believe that you are keeping something from him," she says, "I want you to tell me or else I'll have to compel you."
"Why doesn't Nik come and ask me himself," I ask.
"I don't know, he probably thinks I'll have a girl talk with you and you'll tell me everything. But my brother is a sexist and doesn't know anything about women, obviously."
"I know right," I say and lean my head against the head board.
"You better tell me, or else I'll annoy the hell out of your ass," she says.
I sigh, "fine," I take the results from under the pillow and bring it to my chest, "okay, Nik and I went to the doctors today to see what was wrong with me. My period has been late three days. But before I made any assumptions, I asked her for a blood test. These are the results and I still haven't read them," I explain.
"So you think you're pregnant," she asks.
I nod my head and close my eyes. I pull the paper away from my chest and count to three.
One.
Two.
Three.
I open my eyes and see the most terrible thing ever.
"Rebekah, I'm...I-I'm pregnant," I say, barely above a whisper.
"That's amazing," she says with a big smile.
I shake my head as tears start to spill over my cheeks.
"What will Nik say, he won't want me anymore. He'll think I'm some disgusting woman and then go on to the next woman he sees. He won't want this baby Rebekah," I sob. My sobbing ceases and in over my mouth, "what if he heard everything," I whisper.
"Shut up, he respects your privacy, somewhat," she says.
"Maybe I should just leave before he decides to leave me first, maybe then I'll still have some dignity left. No, you know what, I won't have any dignity left because I got pregnant out of wedlock and then broke up with him. Rebekah I'm so depressed, maybe I should just end it all!"
"Shut up," she yells, "you are not taking about suicide, again. I swear Florence, if I see you on another cliff I will hurt you," she says.
"Fine, then I'll disappear before he notices anything," I say and go over to my dresser.
