Brown Sugar

18

My whole family attended Xabriel's funeral. I met a lot of family members that I didn't know before.

I felt like a good girlfriend. I'd realized that I'd been being somewhat insensitive towards Xabrien just because I didn't want things to keep going, but he needed me. And I couldn't turn my back on him.

I refused to ever turn my back on him. Unless he pushed me away completely. Part of me still wanted a break but I knew that wouldn't be a good idea. Now wasn't a good time for either of us.

I still hadn't told him that my mother was aware of our sexual status, and knowing my mom, she'd tell his mom to make sure she knew. I knew his father knew, because he was the one who always bought Xabrien's condoms.

It wasn't that my mom was trying to be spiteful, she was just trying to be safe. After that day, she and I sat down and had a long talk where we explored all the birth control options we could. We decided to get me the shot. I got tested for every STD, and I didn't have anything.

I trusted Xabrien. I knew that he wouldn't do anything like that to me, not knowingly anyways.

"You want to ride with me?" I whispered into Xabrien's ear.

"Yeah." He wiped his red eyes with one hand and grabbed my hand with the other.

The burial was nice, they let doves go and there was a color guard for Xabriel. I thought it was nice.

"Do you wanna stop somewhere and get some air?" I asked Xabrien.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I need a few minutes away from everything."

I understood what he meant. Every five seconds someone was coming up to him asking if he was okay, if he needing something, saying they'd be there for him, sending condolences. A few girls from his school showed up as well. They were "trying to show support" but they weren't needed. I was all he needed and then some.

And then they didn't even come correctly. First off, dress respectfully at a funeral, secondly, don't try to flirt with someone at their brother's funeral. Death isn't an invitation to make friends.

We made our way to my car. I went to their house early in the morning, around like 7:00. His immediate family had gotten so used to seeing me there it didn't matter what time I showed. But we both knew he wouldn't be okay to drive, and he said he just wanted to be with me. So he'd been riding with me.

"Xabrien." Tyson called out from behind us.

Xabrien turned a little, but not so much. He didn't want his friend to see him crying.

"Wassup?" X replied.

"I'm real sorry about yo brother. And I'm sorry I haven't been there for you. You know I'm caught up right now.." Tyson shot me the evil eye.

"You got Hadia pregnant. Not me. Don't look at me like something wrong with you." I snapped at him.

"Anyways," he said with an eye roll. "If you need anything, just let me know. I got you bro."

"My girl got me. I'm good." Xabrien replied.

Xabrien turned and walked away from Tyson. I did the same, feeling special that Xabrien had told every single person outside of his family who told him they could come to him that he only needed me and that he'd be fine without them.

He stuck his hand out for mine, and I grabbed it trudging behind him. My feet were killing me from these heels. I'd had them on since early this morning. I should've put on some damn flats.

"Babe I'm driving barefoot." I giggled.

"Cheesy feet." He laughed.

"Why I parked so far away?" I groaned.