Race. [TMNT 2012]

049. Vision; Raphael

Song: Young And In Love - Hunter Hayes

I stand in the familiar feel of the warm city night. Though it's dark, there's a happy feeling to it. The rooftop I stand on is one that always soothes me. The very air seems to have some kind of joyful cheer in it. However, this time, I'm too angry to be comforted.

   "He's just so inconsideration!" I complain to Master Splinter, who's in front of me with a thought expression on his face. "Leo has some serious issues he needs to work out."

   To my astonishment, Master Splinter doesn't agree with me. He blinks slowly, as if considering his words carefully, then says, "Leonardo is right."

   My eyes widen as I gaze up at the tall rat. "What?!" I demand irritably. How can he agree with that idiot?

   "You have been lost in your grief for far too long, Raphael," Master Splinter goes on in a tranquil tone. His brown eyes never once leave mine as he emphasizes his words. "You remember how Leonardo was after I passed. His brothers almost perished because of his foolish behavior. You must not make the same mistake. Do not let grief take over your life."

   "It's not!" I protest, but Master Splinter won't hear any of it.

   "You need to complete the stages of grief in order to move on," my father says as he strokes his beard wisely. "You have become stuck in depression. I will say this once and only once: you must finish your grieving before you attempt anything else."

   Though he's my father, I can't listen to him anymore. His advice isn't enough to break through my anger. He just doesn't understand what I'm going through. Losing Tang Shen wasn't as bad as losing Charlotte. I couldn't save her, but I could have. He doesn't realize that I blame myself for her death.

   "I don't need to finish anything!" I spit viciously as I step away from Master Splinter. "I'll never accept her being gone. I loved her! She was the one thing that gave my life meaning, and the Shredder took her away from me!"

   Master Splinter blinks, a solemn expression in his eyes. "My son, I know what you are going through. I once had a woman I loved stolen from me by the dark master. But you must remember that she would not want you to dwell over her. She would want you to be strong."

   "How would you know?!" I snarl, clenching my fists tightly. "You don't know her! So stop acting like you do!"

   "Raphael-" Master Splinter starts to reply, but I'm exploding at the seams. How dare he speak for Charlotte? He died before he could meet her! He has no right to talk on her behalf.

   "Shut up!" I retort. Just as I do so, the wonderful city begins to dissolve into the background. It's soon replaced with the dojo. It's much colder and empty than it was before I started meditating.

   As I puff in anger, I realize the pain of what just happened. I yelled at Master Splinter, the only member of my family that is helpful. He probably hates me now, along with Leonardo.

   I cringe as I think of the blue leader. He just thinks I'm a waste of time. I suspected that for a month now; but after our recent argument, I know I've correct all along. Donatello and Michelangelo clearly think the same thing, because they didn't even try to calm me down when I came home. They just headed straight out of the main room.

   My whole family hates me.

   I don't mean for it to happen, but tears start to flood my eyes. Hot drips roll down my cheeks as my face glows pink with rage. Without thinking much about it, I jump up and charge to my room. More tears soak my cheeks as I burst into my bedroom and slam the door shut behind me. I leap onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling as I let my sadness take me over.