I Set Him Free For Someone Else (HS #1)

KABANATA 8

KABANATA 8

Apology

Saturday's night, I went to the bar to meet Alexa. May usapan kasi kami ngayon. Ngayong gabi ako hihingi ng tawad do'n sa bokalista. Noong mga nakaraang araw kasi ay walang tugtog ang banda na 'yon dito. At ngayong gabi raw ay tutugtog ulit 'yon.

I called her when I was inside the bar. Hindi ko kasi siya mahanap kahit saan. Tinanong ko naman si tito, ang papa niya na bartender,  kung nasaan ang babaeng 'yon kaso hindi rin daw alam. Nandito lang daw 'yon kanina.

I called her for the third time, and finally, she picked up. “Hello,” bungad niya.

“Sa'n ka? Andito na 'ko sa bar,” sabi ko.

“Oh, ano meron?”

Napairap ako. “Bruha, 'di ba may usapan tayo ngayong gabi?”

“What? Usapan? Wala naman akong—God, Allaine! I forgot!” Nagulat siya nang maalala ito.

“Nasaan ka ba?” I asked.

“Nandito kila Mark, birthday ng mommy niya,” sagot niya, “Allaine, sorry. Hindi pa kasi tapos 'yong celebration,” she added.

“It's okay. Ako nalang mag-isang haharap do'n sa bokalista. Ako lang naman may atraso do'n, e,” sabi ko, “Sige na, enjoy.”

I ended the call, then sighed. God, sana lang talaga kayanin kong harapin 'yong bokalista mamaya. Ngayon pa lang kinakabahan na ako. Ano kaya ang sasabihin ko kapag kaharap ko na ang taong 'yon?

I ordered a glass of juice then sat for about ten minutes before the band members started to walked onto the stage. I was just staring at them from afar, especially at the vocalist. He seemed very familliar. Have I already seen him somewhere?

Then they started to perform. Again, mukhang nakakalungkot na naman ang tugtog nila. I could sense it.

(Broken Heart by Kaligta)

Can you fix a broken heart
That is tearing me apart
I didn't know that this could be so hard
Missing your warm embrace
Angel's smile on your face
Remembering our happy days

The vocalist, his voice was so good. It was great. And the lyrics, it was painful. He knew how to convey every word of the song. I felt it. Again, the memories started to filled my mind.

How will I start the day
When your love has gone away?
Can you help me?
Help me find the way?
Since the day you went away
My life has gone astray
Can you help me?
Help me find the way?

God, every word was stabbing me. It brought back everything I tried to forget for the last few days. Here I am again, crying for the same reason again and again.

I took a deep breath and wiped my tears. "Damn!"

I always hear my heart
Calling out your name
I feel within my heart
Crying out in vain
Would you tell me
How to mend this pained
Broken heart

I am so stupid. Bakit ko pa rin ba iniiyakan ang lalaking 'yon? Niloko niya ako. Ginago. Pinagpalit at sinaktan. Why does this fucking heart of mine keep on hoping that he'll come back someday? That he'll realize that I am the one he truly loves? The he'll choose me over someone else? Why does my heart keep on hoping for something that's impossible to happen?

Now, I am asking myself, would I accept him if ever he came back? After everything he did? Would I?

I shook my head. I don't know.