don't forget about me | ethan cutkosky

|24|

Ethan-

The doctors pushed us out of the room with zero effort and began yelling numbers and words I've never even heard before. I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged on it before turning to Brooke who was standing behind me watching her friend fight for her life once again. 

"Why would you fucking take advantage of me like that?" I asked, grabbing her arm and pulling her to face me. 

"Take advantage of you?" She snorted, "You said you would gladly fuck me senseless." 

"I was so high I barely even knew my own name! Not to mention the bottle of whisky my friend and I shared. You knew how much of a horny asshole I've been since Taryn was admitted here and you took advantage of that and the fact I was drunk and high because obviously you want me for yourself." 

She started laughing so hard I actually thought she was going to piss her pants in the middle of a hospital. 

"Oh please, don't flatter yourself. You've been going to parties and sleeping with other girls non stop since Taryn came here. So you're kind of fucked when she gets out of here and finds out how unloyal you've been to her while she was standing at Death's front fucking door." Brooke spat, crossing her arms and looking back inside the room Taryn was in. "I know what I did was wrong and I will admit that to her. I don't know why I gave you a blowjob-"

"If you could even call it that." I interrupted. 

She glared, "You know, I hope that she comes out of this a cancer survivor and leaves your pathetic ass. Theres a chance we won't lose her but theres a chance we could. Last night made me realize I fucked up the only friendship I've had with someone so amazing. It took me this long to realize how amazing she truly is and we are both so damn lucky to have her. I'm going to march in there once she wakes up and apologize until the cows come home and I hope you do the same. I know I'm not one to talk but clean up your fucking act Ethan. You seriously don't know what an amazing girl you have."

Once she was done there were tears in her eyes and some falling down her cheeks. "I fucked up but not as bad as you. I don't even want to see the pain on her face once she finds out about all the girls you've slept with since she came here but I need to be here for her like she always is for me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and change. Call me when she wakes up okay?"

I nodded and she walked away. I sat down on a chair across from her room and waited until the doctors came out and thought about how horrible I am. I don't know what would possess me to do what I did but I feel horrible and theres no way she'll forgive me. A part of me doesn't want her to because I don't deserve her but a part of me does because I love her ( know it doesn't seem like it right now) and I don't want to be without her. 

I wish I could turn back time. 

____________________________________

Taryn-

Fast forward a few days to the day I get the tests back to figure out why I passed out all of a sudden. 

I had been feeling weak a lot but everyone knew it was the chemo. It wasn't having severe side effects on me, only nausea and vomiting. I wasn't losing hair or getting weak nails or anything like that so the doctors thought I was fine. I was out for two days and now I'm hooked up to every machine possible it looks like and I still feel weak and out of it. 

My doctor was standing in front of my bed with my parents on either side of my bed holding my hands.

"Okay Taryn, so as you know, we ran tests and got them back as soon as possible and today we are going to figure out and solve whatever is going on inside your body. To start off, chemotherapy is made to slow down or stop the growing of cancer cells. Cancer cells do not go through a programmed cell death and divide uncontrollably. Unfortunately, chemo can also harm healthy cells and body systems and can effect your organs. The chemo was starting to affect your heart, making it beat either too fast or too slow and your body didn't know what to do so it started to shut down. The chemo we were putting you through was supposed to help shrink the cancerous tumours on your ovaries but it just wasn't working anymore." He stopped and gave me a minute to process everything before he started speaking again. 

"Now it's up to you and your parents now. Would you rather do a stronger round of chemo or have your ovaries removed? Please do understand that having your ovaries removed could lessen your chances of having a baby. However there are other options so that you can try and have your own child once day. Having your ovaries removed would mean you would be cancer free. Doing chemo could put your body through the issues you're having now but even worse, but it could get rid of the cancer."

My bottom lip trembled as I cried, "Can't we keep doing this until the tumour shrinks and then remove the tumour?"

He shook his head, "The chemo isn't strong enough, I'm sorry. Now since it is so late, I will have a nurse bring brochures and other useful information for both procedures tomorrow after breakfast so you all can go over it together and make a decision."

"Thank you." My parents said, shaking the doctor's hand. 

The doctor left the room and we all sat in silence for a while. Nobody spoke, nobody make eye contact. Ethan and Brooke stood outside but knew enough not to come in. Not that I want them here anyway. 

"You should get some sleep sweetheart." My dad said, standing up with my mom.

They had their own room that consisted of a double bed, a small tv and few chairs. We shared a bathroom since our rooms connected. 

I nodded and laid back in my bed. They both came over and kissed my forehead. We all said our "I love yous" and almost instantly, I began to feel exhausted. 

Just as my dad turned out the light he whispered, "You're tough kiddo, you'll get through this." 

I'm proud to say that for the first time in weeks, I fell asleep with a smile on my face. 

___________________________

guys!!! i'm so sorry this is so short and shitty, everything got deleted again (through no fault of my own this time) so i had to rewrite this whole chapter AGAIN by memory and yeah

i know in chapter 22 i said two more chapters then an epilogue but ive decided that theres going to be two more chapters after this one then an epilogue because i don't want to cram a million and one things into one chapter and then end it.

thank you for all you endless love and support it means a lot! 

please don't forget to vote and comment, it really helps :)) 

xoxo

-also, I've been having trouble with making a cover for my new story (that i will be posting the intro and stuff to very soon so keep an eye out ;))) ) and since i need a specific picture, (which i cant find one that i like) its taking a bit longer but i'll try and have one soon i promise!