Obsession:The Sequel [Jacob Latimore]

9.]If I Want To

::Serenity::

All I could think about was what had just occurred as I laid in bed, undressed completely, with Malcolm's arms tightened around my waist. It happened. I never thought I'd let myself go as soon as I did, especially with Malcolm. He, being my new companion was very different. I had to admit I was afraid of every decision made with him, yet I know it was all because I had Jacob in the back of my mind. Seemingly knowing, that he may be watching me all over again. I felt myself really beginning to fall for Malcolm more everyday. He was taking care of me in such serious matter. It meant a lot to me and I really wanted to wait to give myself away again but something lead me to this very moment. I know it was late at night and it has been a few hours ago that this had occurred. I just couldn't get myself to say the words... That we did it. I guess I was feeling extremely shy for some reason about the whole situation. I don't know, I guess it felt different to me.

Malcolm was something else compared to Lance and Jacob both. Those who say that all men are the same? They sure the hell aren't from my personal experience among these very three men I just mentioned. Simply all because, they had their different ways of loving me and their own personalities as well responsibilities and cares. Out of all of them, I could see significance of the love given. The first love was harsh and unreal, the second love was chaotic and surreal, and this love --- this love with Malcolm, if this is what I'm feeling, this love finally felt real. I just didn't want to be wrong about it again, but like many say third time's a charm...right? Right.. I sighed and moved myself around a bit in these sheets of softness, warmth, and completed comfort. I just had a yearn to continue to sleep but as always something always kept me up. I flipped over and stared straight at Malcolm's face in wonder.

Thinking to myself, I thought of how precious he is. A genuine sweetheart, not a woman beater, not an excessive obsessive, just a normal being in which he was raised correctly. He treated me so right and I just couldn't get over that or stress it enough. Looking at him, his every aspect of character. From thinking of his idiosyncrasies, to gazing at his looks. I found myself lost in his being, his face. That beautiful lit up brown skin, the color of honey, those dark brown freckles, and his pink lips. It all made me melt in such peace. I ran my finger across his cheek and scooted into him closer. Knowing he felt me when he replaced his grip around me. I buried my face in his chest and drifted in and out of this world here and there. Before I could get myself to fall asleep, the silent touch of his voice all of a sudden became evident.

"You know, I've been waiting for something like this forever. I never thought it'd come as soon as I'm believing it to be right now. I know we're fairly well on into our 20's but this feels so great, Serenity. And I just.." Malcolm paused mid-sentence. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to say next but I listened to the rush of his heart, indicating that he was scared.

"I'm listening Malcolm." I whispered into him. He rubbed my back softly once I said that and let out a soft breath followed by a kiss to my forehead, down to my nose and eventually upon my lips.

Once he released, he just stared at me within the darkness.

"I really believe I love you." Malcolm said.

I softly blinked as my eyelashes batted.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes Serenity, I love you and I'm not going to pressure you to say it back because I know it's hard to do so. You can take as long as you need to. Just you being here proves to me something so much more. I love you." Malcolm explained.

I truly wanted to cry but I held in my tears, instead I pressed myself up against him more and gave him the biggest hug ever. I'm so glad that he could understand me and practically read my mind because I didn't really know if I loved him yet or not. This was still just the beginning and with him saying what he said, I was so appreciative of him to give me the time I needed to think and let my own feelings grow over time no matter how long it took. Maybe, I did love him but I held myself from saying it at the moment because it didn't feel right but with him saying it, it felt absolutely right and on spot. For me, I just didn't want to let him down because he deserved truth and commitment in which I was willing to give to him. He was to special to let go of in my perspective. I know it's only been a year and then some of knowing one another, he taking care of me in the facility and all but he really did show his sweet demeanor. Having a crush on him had developed everyday, and I knew it was nothing I had never felt before. I felt like a school girl being in that place, and watching him all that I could. I latched on to him and I've never let go since.