Obsession:The Sequel [Jacob Latimore]

2.]Insufficient Aches

::Serenity::

A sudden knock came to my room door and I slightly jumped, startled a bit by the apparent sound. I didn't say anything, whomever was there knew to come in without my consent anyways. I went back to my sketchbook, looking at the design I had just finished. I really liked drawing and or designing clothes. It felt as if it was my calling but whom or what would ever see it outside of this ward? I wandered about that every since after the first couple of months I was here. I started sketching out clothes one day in search for relief. I wanted some type of closure, some type of new hobby I could get myself into that I was potentially good at so that I could finally for once in my life be proud of myself. I've never been proud of myself except for a few times really. Those few times counted as for helping others though and this time around, I was alone and I needed to help myself. I finally looked at whom had entered my room and it was none other than Nurse Donovan himself. I smiled a shy smile and he did so back.
To my knowledge and somewhat attraction to a man, I knew that when it came to Nurse Donovan, he was a handsome man. He was tall and lean, seemed to have a muscle structured figure in some way. He had often gave himself different hairstyles within months at a time and or dyed his hair. This time around, he went back to his regular cut hair, it being back to black. He was ethnicity of course, with light skin and nice little light freckles that many of people hadn't noticed. His cheek bones and jawline were out of this world and his smile... gosh when he smiled it made me heat up in a blushing fit so quickly. I knew somewhere upon him he had tattoos, I could tell from the little bit that showed on his arms at least. Once again, I looked him up and down to look for something to describe about him. All I found was that his appearance was so handsome to the eye. He could have any young lady if he wanted to I bet. I smiled at the thought of him earning someone great to be with.

I then put my head down in utter shame, just knowing that it couldn't be at all. I was a mess upon anything worth while in life.

"Are you ready for your medicine Serenity?" Nurse Donovan asked me. I nodded my head, still having it down.

He walked towards my little desk that sat beside my bed. I was sitting there in a chair, I had closed my sketchbook and turned towards him. He handed me an ice cold cup of water and a little white pill. I drank it down and handed him back the plastic objects. He smiled and set them on the little cart he had brought in with him. He was making his morning rounds to every patient, I suppose. I just looked back down after doing so, I stared at my little feet, my tiny toes mostly. I heard him snicker a bit and I shot my head back up. I looked at him to see that he was on his phone. I smiled to myself and looked away yet again, this time I looked at the empty white wall and floors, feeling so miserable as to what I had brought myself to. I wanted to cry, but I had done enough of that every night. I repeated these actions of shame of mine everyday without thinking of how much I'm keeping myself down. It didn't matter anyhow to me.

I had got a sudden urge to ask a question to Nurse Donovan. I stood up and put my hands behind my back in nervousness. I acted very hesitant to say anything such as a word and that's when I blurted out my thoughts.

"Sir, uh, Nurse Donovan? W-what's your first name?" I asked in a bit of a stutter.

"It's Malcolm." Nurse Donovan smiled.

I maneuvered my hands in an odd manner of nervousness. I giggled and thought about his name. I liked it a lot. I just gave him a little smile and nodded. I wanted to ask something else but I didn't know what. I've never really gotten the chance to talk to him or anyone in a nice form of simple conversation and I felt up to it to start now since I'd possibly be getting out soon and I'd have to face the world again.

"So, uhm, why did you decide to become a psychiatric nurse?" I asked.

"I like seeing people's progress, rather it be the beginning of it being bad or good I just like to see how far someone can go with the chance to change their own mindset." He explained.