High School Love

Cuts

A/N Warning this chapter has to do with some what suicidal thoughts!!! Thank you -Amber

When I got home after we went shopping, I went to my room and I was just thinking about what had happened at school and, I just really sad and thought. I kinda had the urge to go into the bathroom and grab a razor and cut but I couldn't but I wanted to so bad. I got up and headed to the bathroom and grabbed my razor blade and put it to my wrist. I was having second thoughts I couldn't but it would make me feel better. I cut once, twice, three time then, I wiped the blood off my arm and headed back to my room. I sat on my bed and started to cry really hard I new I couldn't do this anymore and I had just got here. WHY? WHY ME? WHAT DID I DO? I slowly cried myself to sleep knowing that tomorrow was gonna be the same or maybe worse.

When I woke the next morning my arm was in a lot of pain. I looked down and that I already had scars on my arm. I got out of bed and went to my closet and grabbed my dark blue high wasted jeans and a white and black long sleeve crop top. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed my granola bar and went to my bus stop. I sat with my friend but we did not talk a word. Hopefully she still likes me.
When I got to school I got pushed and then called a lesbian and I later that day I got my finger slammed in my locker by this boy named Gage. He called me a loser and then shut my locker on my finger and I really hurt. When I finally made to lunch my "new friend" didn't even look at me so I guess we aren't going to be friends. I just really hate my life right now. My uncles were wrong it dose not get better, I'm just a loser at this school and I can't stand it I'm nothing and i don't belong in this world anymore.
When I got home I cut my wrist four more times. I guess my uncles saw because they told me to pack my things because I'm going to this place called West Hills to help me and my suicidal thoughts. I just cried and I couldn't do anything else the whole way there. When we got there my uncles got out if the car and said
" Everything will get better but we can't have you at the house if you are suicidal so you need help so that's why we are here. We love very much and wish the best for you so be good and get better we will tell your mom when she gets home and Im sure will be okay with what we did. We love you and we see in 2 weeks goodbye."
When I got into the place they showed me to a padded room with a bed and that's all. They gave me dinner and told me when it was time to go bed but, I couldn't tell really late so I stayed up and just looked up at the ceiling and softly cried. Why? Why did I do this to myself? Why? I whispered before drifting off.  I dreamed of being happy and having a better life that I could really enjoy. I woke up cold and saw my blanket on the ground so I picked it up fell back to sleep slowly dying inside. I cant handle this very well so I hope this place can really actually help me get better and my life will get better I just hope so. I hope life will be okay again. I don't to be lost anymore I want to be found and saved. Can someone save me or do I have to save myself. Goodnight I will see you tomorrow and that will be my first day of help.