o=o=o
He skipped school. For just a few hours, he wanted to give himself some time alone. He wandered off along the streets – just walking with his usual getup. His hood was pulled up while a set of earphones were inserted in his ears. His hands were inside his pockets.
He emptied his mind from everything that’s been happening lately. For a few hours, he wanted to forget who he was, his mother, his friends, Jaejoong and Dara. For just a few hours, he wanted to forget Sulli and their meetings. For once, he wanted to live like he used to – a normal human being.
He walked, ate in a fastfood chain, took a rest, walked again, watched some guys play bastketball, walked again, watched some passersby. . . . until his feet brought him to a place he’s never been before – the church. He stood a few feet away from it, just stared at every angle and curve of the building. There were never really forbidden to go to churches. Actually, NO ONE ever told them what will happen if they enter one because as far as the shadows’ history say, NO ONE ever dared enter a church before. He used to wonder what will happen if someone like him will enter one. Will he be burned to ashes? Will he be stripped off of his powers? Will he not be able to step inside like there’s an invisible barrier or detector on the door that will stop someone like him to enter?
There were too many questions before but he never really tried to go inside. Maybe he was afraid that he won’t be able to enter because of the blood that runs through his veins.
Every shadow he knew loved being a shadow but not him. Since he was a kid, he loathed it. He loathed the blood that runs through his veins. It ruined his father, it ruined his mother, it ruined him – it ruined his family. Weirdly, he doesn’t want to be a shadow. Yes, it was amazing – what’s with all the abilities and powers one can have. He admits that he thirsted for power, he was tempted to inflict pain and watch people suffer, and he desired to be the strongest shadow of all time. But above all, he felt tainted, he felt dirty . . . . . if he can, he’d rip his veins out and drain all his evil blood out. But even if he’s a direct descendant, he can’t do anything about it. He was born that way, so he has to live with it. But he didn’t really believe in that before. But now, he’s starting to believe it.
He was born a shadow; he might as well live up to it. Be evil, be a normal shadow.
With a shrug, he started heading towards the church. He didn’t falter, didn’t pause and he definitely didn’t hesitate entering the facility. The moment he stepped in, he continued walking ‘til he reached the center of the aisle. He paused and looked around. He looked at himself and felt a strong surge of disappointment when nothing happened to him. There was this tiny flicker of hope deep inside him that he’ll be burn to ashes when he enters the church. ‘So, you welcome everyone, huh? Even if I’m some sort of a product of your traitor angel? You should burn me, you know’ he thought, then sighed. Still, nothing happened. He was deeply disappointed with it. He looked around again. Nobody seemed to mind him so he decided to take a seat.
A bittersweet smile curved his lips as his eyes went up front. There were too many questions he would like to ask but then, why would that BIG GUY up there bothers answering someone like him.
“Come on, send your angels to fight me, to capture me” he whispered sarcastically, then chuckled under his breath. ‘Are you really the Creator?’ he thought. ‘Why did you make me this way? Was my fate of being sent to hell written already even before I was born? Now where’s the fairness in that? You’re supposed to be fair!’
Yes, he’s sure he’ll be sent to hell after his life on earth. Where else would he go?
He stayed there, not really sure why he’s doing it, not really sure why he’s wasting time sitting there, doing nothing. But he stayed there. . . .
