“GOD!” Bom exclaimed. “Stop acting like you’re the only victim here! How do you think Jaejoong’s feeling right now? How do you think I’m feeling right now? I’ve known Kwon Jiyong as long as I can remember and it’s not easy for me too see what’s happening to him lately. When will you wake up from the illusion that Jiyong isn’t a saint?”
“STOP!” I screamed. “I don’t want hear any of your lies anymore! I had enough!”
She suddenly grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard. “I won’t stop until you-!”
“Bom, that’s enough” Jae said quietly but it every word was heavy with authority.
“No!” Bom refused. “I won’t stop until she-!”
“I said enough” Jae repeated strongly.
“Fine!” Bom exclaimed, raised her hand and stepped back.
“I’m disappointed with you, Dara” he quietly said. “Do you really think I’d lie about Jiyong just to get you back? I guess I should be grateful that we broke up then. You obviously see me differently”
“Jae, I-“
“If you don’t want to stay here anymore because you think I’m plotting against Jiyong, feel free to leave” he cut off. “I won’t stop you”
He walked away, leaving me guilty.
“You’re pretty lucky to have someone like Jaejoong, you know” Bom slowly said. “But I guess you’re too blind to see that”
Silence.
“And in case you want to know, Jiyong asked me to tell you about the prediction but Jaejoong asked me to delay it because he knew you’re going to get hurt. In return for that, you went on accusing the both of us of selfishness. I’m taking you also forgot the time when I said I’m over Jiyong already?”
“Bom, i-I’m sorry. I didn’t-“
“Jaejoong deserve your apology more than anyone” she cut off. “Imagine, you cheated on him, broke up with him for Jiyong and hurt him like hell. But he continued looking after you, took you in when Jiyong broke up with you but you just hurt him again”
I turned red. I started feeling a heavy weight in my chest. Oh God, what’s happening to me?
“I love Jiyong” I brokenly whispered. “It’s hard for me to. . . .”
“I know how you feel Dara” she said. “But what you feel won’t change the truth and it doesn’t give you the right to go on accusing people around you”
o=o=o
Later that evening, I decided to talk to Jae. I took a deep breath and knocked on his door. “J-jae?” I called. After a while, the door opened. I flinched guiltily seeing the pain in his eyes. What have I done to him?
“What is it?” he asked, voice husky.
“I. . . . I just want to apologize. . . . with what I said a while ago. . . . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m being ungrateful and mean. . . I’m really s-sorry. I didn’t mean to-2
“I know you meant it, Dara” he cut off. “That’s how you felt, you were just being honest”
“Jae, it’s not really like-“
“You don’t have to explain yourself” he cut off again. “You’re right in thinking that I’m still hoping and wishing you’ll come back to me, that you’ll love me again but I would never lie to you about Jiyong just to get you back”
“I’m sorry” I repeated, bowing my head. “I-I’d do anything you ask. . . . just forgive me, please?”
He didn’t say anything. I took an unsteady breath. I’m being on the wrong side. I might be suffering right now but Bom was right, it didn’t give me the right to hurt anyone or inflict pain on others. But I was just too frustrated with myself, too hurt with what happened to me and Jiyong that I went to vent my feelings out on Jae and Bom.
