Darcy. {cth}

W.1

"Why didn't you tell me mom?" I ask. I haven't called her that in a while but she is dying. It just seems right.

Calum was next to me. I feel so bad for letting him come with me. His sister has breast cancer and we're here trying to make my mom's last moments... better. Calum is always dragged in my crap.

"It happened three years ago. I even forgot about it. I didn't want treatment." She whispers weakly.

"Mom why? You're my only parent! It's all my fault! I should have known!" I yell but not too loud.

It's my fault.

"No its not. You need to go. If this is my last day I wanna leave on a good note," She sighs, "So I love you and so does your father."

"You don't know anything about dad." I shake my head.

Yes she's dying but she never really loved my dad.

"Darcy..." Calum warns.

"I'll miss you mom." I hug her and leave.

She was getting no I love you out of me.

Calum follows behind me as we leave the hospital. This was a eventful day. I just can't wait until the drama is over. Until I can be fully happy with who I am.

"It wasn't your fault I hope you know that." Calum says starting up the car. His phone buzzes and I see the name Emma pop up.

I'm his girlfriend so I can ask?

"What did she want?" I ask trying to seem calm.

"Crap about us dating. She thinks you don't really like me." He mumbles the last sentence.

What does she know?

She wants your bf

No she couldn't

But she does and hates you.

I didn't even do anything.

"Darcy stop." Calum says in a stern voice.

"Hmm?" I hum out of my self-fight.

"I know when you are fight with yourself your eyes move and you sometimes mumble." He shakes his head and rests his hand on my thigh.

I wasn't sure if Calum and I should start dating. I think this is too soon. I still have my family to deal with. I need to find out a way for my brother to get into collage or something so I can make sure he will be okay.

I don't think Calum and I can work right now.

He still had Emma drama, his parents, and his sister has cancer. He needs to take care of his family. He needs to be there for his friends and not be with me all the time. He will agree.

"Calum?" I ask softening my eyes a bit.

"Hmm?" He hums with a little smile on his face.

"You know we both have problems and a lot going on. So much is going on. I need to help my family and so do you I just-"

He parks into the school parking lot looking at me turing his whole body to me. He took my hands in his and I felt like I was telling him to go away. I just think we need time.

"Fuck Darcy I know what you're doing. Don't. Please? I need you, God I need you." Calum begs.

I have to.

"Calum stop. I know you need me. I need you. You act like I'm your life support and I can't be that Calum. I like you okay? But I know I can never fall in love. I don't want to do that to you. You need to focus on you. Have you even talked to your sister? Or went down to Sydney to see how your parents are doing? You need to see them." I tell him.

He doesn't get that I can't always be there.

"Okay no I haven't done those things but I will. You are my number one right now. We can work this out."

"No I have to fend for myself. I need to help myself before I can help you. I'm sorry but I cant." I let go of Calums' hand.

"God Darcy! Why are you so scared of happy!? Why? Why are you scared of someone loving you?! I won't leave! Just stop being scared!" He yells then gets out of the car and I do the same. I look to see he is hitting the roof of his car and mumbling stuff to himself. I start to cry.

Why I'm I scared of happy?

It pops into my head and I run.

CALUM POINT OF VIEW  -

I see her run. Maybe I did rush into things but I love her so much. She is the thing I need, the thing I want. I take a deep breath and call Luke.

"Aye bro." Luke says into the phone.

"She's gone. She ended it." I get to the point.

"Come back to the dorm. I'll get the guys." He says and hangs up.

(Cakes dorm)

"She has a point." Ashton says.

I told them the whole story. They seemed to understand and they really listened. I kinda wanted them to take my side.

"How? What?" I ask.

"Calum you act like you can't even breath if she's not yours or around. Yes maybe you love her but sometimes you need to take a step back and focus on you, your friends and family." Ashton explans.

"Do you think I'm suffocating her?"

"Yes." They all say.

"Come on we haven't had a guys night since we met her. You haven't even called your sister since she told you about her Cancer. You need to give her space. She's not an open person maybe she needs to seek help for that." Luke says.

"I shouldn't tell you guys this but she used to have depression, could it be possible she uh... still has it?" I ask. They all get really serious.

"Yes. I think she can definitely still have it maybe she never really you know 'got over it'." Michael says.

I take a deep breath and take this all in. Darcy needs to get help and I need to take a step back. Maybe I just need to get in touch with myself. The me that would write and play bass again, the me who would talk to their sister and try to get in touch with their parents.

"We should go back to Sydney for a little bit." I smile and so do they.