Thinking of the things I feel, the thoughts in my head and the magic I held onto as I child. I feel foolish now to dare to believe I hold such power myself.
To assume one thing and one thing alone, at every turn you would lie to yourself.
I am not special, I hold no magic and dreams will only be dreams, I hold no real power and even know I believe with all my heart that I have not reached the pinnacle of what I am to become or achieve, I cannot lie to myself and say that I won't have to exceed odds to do so.
Because I know so many people and they all have a dream, and surely they must be working hard to grasp just a single tip, to grip it with all their strength and pull as if in a game of never ending tug of war against a single human and a speeding car. I can't hope to flout through life and find that boat and jump on it.
I get the feeling that there is a place inside me I have never been and in there I hold power and I will be strong and have the will and skills to fight against that car. But I know that to reach that place I will have to strong if not stronger that any power there already. I know that I am being foolish and waiting for it, waiting for the moment when that miracle occurs and I suddenly grasp that power, like I believe that in that weak state I even have a chance of holding on for the ride.
I am wasting time, but I can bring myself to move, I like to watch the world move I feel more prepared to face fears if I know their movements.
But the world is stupid and simple in a way that you can only see it as you see it. You can watch the world move but you learn every day of a different one, in another person's eyes.
You are surprised you feel enlightened and feel like you see what you have never seen before.
But words to live by are not going to change that every new experience will impact you like no other person.
What you see or in others eyes don't see will always label you in their eyes as stupid, uncaring and blind. Like you follow the same route as every other clone and you can't stop that what they can see in you is not a individual person but a stupid follower of theirs, who needs eyes their eyes checked and their senses opened.
You feel what you feel and what you see is what you see and that is the only thing that makes you special...... I just contradicted myself.....I think.
