AU: John is dating a girl to attempt to change his sexuality but then realized that he is doing it for no reason, which leads him to Alex. Then Alex comforts him and counts his "stars"
It was a quiet afternoon in Alexander's apartment. He had just come back from work and had absolutely nothing to do. He slipped off his jacket and looked around. Maybe John will come over. Oh, John. Alexander could write pages and pages of the reason why he love John Laurens. He was his muse. He was his one and only. Not only his star, but his whole sky. But unfortunately he was with someone else. Maria. John was Bisexual but he was currently in love with her. Which makes it impossible for them to be together. But she was better for him. She was beautiful. She was graceful and talented with her words. And she had probably been his first kiss and time so what did it matter. But regardless of all of that, he was his friend. And he would ask him to hang out with him. As friends. But by some grace of God, before he could pick up his phone to dial John, there was a knock at the door. Hamilton got up and made his way to the door. But even before he could open it, he heard sniffles and hiccups.
"Who is it?" Alex asked, hoping for an answer
"It- It's Laurens, I b-brought booze," Hamilton quickly opened the door and stared at the broken man in front of him. His head was tilted down and looking at his shoes. John Laurens was wearing black sweatpants and a grey sweatshirt that was worn and had raindrop like dots on it. His hair was not up in its normal tight pony tail, it was loose, tangled and frizzy. He finally looked up and has streaks of tears on his cheeks.
"Can I come in?" He whispered in a sad tone. He seemed so fragile and helpless.
"I- uh yeah! Come in!" Alex ushered him onto his couch and slowly lowered himself into the cushion next to him, "May I ask what brings you here crying and with alcohol," Hamilton cautiously poked.
"Alex," Laurens started sobbing after he said the name, "I thought that Maria could distract me or get this out of me. But it didn't," hiccups melted into the sentence, making it half incoherent. What was he trying to distract himself from.
"John what did you tr..."
"God damnit I'm gay!" Silence filled the room.
Did.... Did he just.... Wait what?
"You're... gay?" Laurens stared at him and saw the look in his eyes.
Knew it. He thinks I'm screwed. John reached for a bottle of beer. If he couldn't be loved, he would be drunk. But Hamilton ripped the bottle from his hands and placed it on his coffee table.
"You're okay," Alex grabbed his hands and held them, "I'm bi, remember? It's all cool,"
"Yeah! But you can like girls! I can't! I'm just messed up! You can be normal sometimes!" Alex laughed.
"I liked a girl once, and you know how that turned out," Hamilton chuckled and shook his head, "Besides, you can't help who you like. You just do. And that's ok. At least I think so," He looked at Laurens and waited for a response. But instead of talking, he tackled him and wrapped his arms around his neck.
"Thank you, I really needed that," Alex hummed in response and put his arms on Laurens's back. And for a good while, they just sat there in silence. Nothing except John on Alex. But after a while, the silence became a little uncomfortable
"Would you like to watch a movie?" Alex asked running his hands through Laurens's hair.
"Could we just listen to music instead?" John propped himself up on his forearms and stared at Alex. Johns eyes where like liquid gold to Alex. They had the brightness and beauty of the sun. No, his eyes where the moon and sun. And his freckles where the stars. And his entire being was the sky. A beautiful, diverse sky. His sky.
Moon dust in your lungs
Stars in your eyes
You are a child of the cosmos
A ruler of the skies
"Hey John?"
"Mhm?" Laurens was still still staring into Hamilton's eyes.
He is remarkable John just couldn't help but stare. Alex was so dreamy inside and out.
"Can I count your freckles?" He asked. John giggles and shook his head.
"You can try, but they're everywhere, my face, my neck, my arms, my shoulders, my back, my chest, my thighs and legs,"
"I'll just count the ones on your face,"
And he did. He counted scanning every part of his face, and even his neck. He would smile every so often, pointing out shapes that his marks formed. He loved every freckle he had. They were beautiful and seemed to hold meaning. He couldn't compare them to anything. He wanted to count every freckle he had, as if they were the stars in the sky that he wanted to explore. Memorize every constellation that it held. It was half an hour when he finally stopped and stared into John's eyes.
"297," Alex smiled ,"It's a lot,"
Moon dust in your lungs
Stars in your eyes
You are a child of the cosmos
A ruler of the skies
