The Fallen Hero

----------

My father was always the best at putting up a front and letting us believe that everything was fine in our lives. I still remember the way he hugged my brother, my little sister and I before sending us to bed that night. He told me to be sure to get to sleep so that I could keep up my grades and that he had always been proud of me. I didn't think anything of it. He always talked like that and while I appreciated it, I'd come to take it for granted. Later that same night I left my room to get a glass of water from the kitchen and overheard yelling and crying from down the hallway. I stood as still as I possibly could as I overheard my father's distress.

"Jobs aren't easy to come by Jane, who knows how long this could last." I heard his footsteps as he paced the floor. I peered my head around the corner. He was grabbing his hair with both hands, his eyes were red from crying. That was the first time I'd ever seen my father like this.

"We will find a way." My mother's soft and soothing voice tried to console him, but I could see the tears rolling down her own cheeks. "Weren't they looking for a new assistant manager at the 7-Eleven down the street?

"The position already got filled by some Hispanic guy." My dad heaved a sigh "Who knows if he's even legal?"

"I can start looking for work too, we will be okay."

"Who will take care of Sophia? I don't want my daughter to be raised by a day care we can't afford in the first place."

"Kaylee and Jacob are old enough to help with her, she'd only need to be at a daycare for a few hours a day. You put too much pressure on yourself, we're here to support each other and I want to help you to support our family."

"You are supporting our family. Sophia is only three years old, these are prime years that a child needs their mother. There's no need to stress out the other two, Kaylee has too much on her hands with school and I wouldn't want Jacob to have to quit football."

"Jacob is graduating next year and I'd like to be able to send him to college. If you're so concerned for them, open your eyes. Stop pretending that they have the same life as the other kids at school. We can barely afford to feed them as it is, we should have taken Jacob out of football years ago. They're old enough to contribute to this family, just as I intend to do." I'd never heard my mom raise her voice beyond her usual calm and collected tone, and I couldn't stand to see it anymore. I tried to run back to my room without being seen but I hadn't made it three feet before I tripped over my feet and fell to the floor. My parents were instantly silenced as I blushed with embarrassment and tried my hardest to hold back tears. My mom kneeled down next to me then gave me a hug as she whispered "Everything will be okay. I'm sorry."

I turned to look at my dad, the cherry color of his face said that he was humiliated that I'd seen him in this state. I wasn't even able to make eye contact with him, he seemed so ashamed that he thought he'd let me down. He stood in silence before he walked back to his bedroom. This was unusual for him, he would always do everything he could to cheer me up and he was the one that I always turned to with my concerns. Surely he could see that I needed him as I was crying on the floor, he always knew when something was wrong. However, that day my mom had asserted herself into his position as he slipped into oblivion. She sat with me for half an hour as I took deep breaths to calm myself down. I didn't want to talk, I knew that my mom didn't understand me the way that my dad did.

As the days passed my dad's usual enthusiastic façade increasingly faded. He began reading newspaper ads rather than talking with us at meals. The dark circles under his eyes said it'd been awhile since he'd slept. He stopped combing his hair and even grew a beard for the first time in his life. Although his struggling was visible, he'd never speak a word of it to Jacob or me. In fact, after a while he didn't speak to us at all. Whenever we would ask him if he was okay or even attempted to make cheery small talk to lighten the mood, he would tell us that he needed to go take a nap or ask us to go do chores to get us to leave. Even when Sophia would playfully approach him, he would always hand her off to one of us or toss a toy in her direction. I barely saw him talk to my mom, and whenever they did it inevitably turned to the same argument of my mother insisting that she went back to work. It was surreal for me to see my hero turn human before my eyes. It was like I was living in a blissfully ignorant fairytale for the first fifteen years of my life and I never appreciated what I had until reality hit me all at once like a train. I'd never lived in such a hostile environment before. I missed my father and best friend.