If Not For Love - A Highland Romance

Chapter 10

 Ten

I'm going to be sick.

Excited and anxious to see Tavish and apologize for standing him up this morning, I had rushed over to his place without even stopping by mine. I knew he was probably worried.

Boy, was I mistaken!

The last thing I expected was to pull into his driveway and find him with her. Kissing her! My insides scream at the sight of them together. It is more than I can stand.

"Adia, wait!" Tavish yells.

I back out as quickly as I can, pulling away just as Tavish reaches for the door.

Tears blur my vision as I drive back and I futilely wipe them away. I ask myself over and over how this could have happened. How could he do this to me? To us? I had made up my mind to trust him and this is what I get. Now I am so lost, I don't know what to do. One thing is for sure. I'm done crying. I will waste no more tears over him.

Driving through the city, I glimpse the holiday decorations through my blurred vision. Lighted holly and garland dress the windows, adding a charming festive look to the white-washed buildings. For a change, I thought I would finally be spending a Christmas with someone. Looks like I will be alone same as always.

As I reach the cottage, Tavish pulls up behind me. He must have been doing some major speeding to catch me. Running into the house, I try to slam the door, but his arm quickly snakes through and pushes it open. Having no desire to talk to him now–or ever–I rush to the bedroom, but he is a lot quicker than I am and grabs the door handle before I can push it shut.

"Damn it, Adia, talk to me!"

"Why? There's no point! There's nothing else to say."

"Oh, I've got plenty ta say, woman, and you will hear it!"

He takes my arms in his hands, his grip tight and solid. Squeezing my eyes shut, I look away, fighting the tears with all I've got, but I quickly lose the battle and scoff in anger at the wetness tracking my face. I finally raise my eyes to his, resigned to defeat, attempting to steel myself to the softening of his rugged features. His grip loosens, his large hands caressing. The goosebumps on my skin are a betrayal to my war-torn heart.

"I wasna with her. She came ta me. I was trying ta get her to leave."

"You kissed her." The memory of the two of them together is seared in my mind. His kisses were supposed to me mine, not hers!

"She kissed me, an act that was most unwelcome."

"It doesna matter anyway. I don't know why I am even still here, or why I came in the first place. Who in their right mind just drops everything and moves to a foreign country?"

"I'll tell you why yer here." His hands tighten on my arms again. "You're here because you are mine. Do you hear me? Yer mine."

"But she will never let you go."

"How many times do I hav' ta tell ye? I wasna ever hers. There was never anything between us, and there never will be."

"You kissed her, Tavish."

"I told you, she kissed me. I want nothing ta do with her. Why will you no believe me? Why do ye doubt my love for you?"

"Because of this," I say, throwing the letter at him.

He catches the envelope and removes the folded paper. "What is this . . ."

I silently watch him read the letter, his expression morphing through various emotions: shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, and finally, resignation.

He looks at me. "It's not true. None of it is true." He sighs, his eyes weary. "You have ta believe me. I couldna do such a thing. No woman deserves that kind o treatment, even her. But she is lying."

"I believe you," I finally say. And I do. The redhead has been a thorn in my side from the moment she walked into Inver Cottage, staking her claim to him and doing everything in her power to oust me from his life. She has a history with him. It may not have been in the romantic way she claims, but they have a history just the same. All I have is the last week. How do I compete?

"I don't know if I can do this. I'm thinking about going back to the states for a bit, just ta–"

"No!" He again takes my arms in his hands, shaking me a little, his face a mask of mixed emotions, his blue eyes fixed on mine. "You canna run away from this, from me."

Pulling away, I slip by him and move to the living room window and stare out at the loch, tears again trailing down my cheeks. I love this man more than I ever imagined loving someone. He is the first man I've ever given my heart to. Now I just don't know what to think.

"I dinna know, Tavish," I murmur. "The women in my family have always been unlucky in love. Maybe it will always be that way. The Calhoun family curse." Resting my forehead against the window, I feel his warmth before he even touches me.

"The day I stood outside your cottage in the rain and you smiled at me, I knew I wouldna ever walk the loch again without yer smile in my mind." He gently turns me, taking me in his arms, his love lying naked before me in his eyes. The tears in them are my undoing. "I belong ta ye, mo ghraidh. You're in in my verra soul. Sometimes I wake in the night lonesome and aching for ye, wishing you were lying next to me, wanting ta take ye into myself. When we're together and my arms are about ye and your mouth is beneath mine, it's all I can do not ta crush ye and keep you locked against me forever. Each time I kiss you, I want ta take your verra breath and give ye mine. No woman has ever had such a claim on me, and no one else ever will."

He gently cups my cheek. "I love you, Adia. And if I have ta follow you from Scotland to prove it, I will. I've never left these shores, but I would leave with ye. If not for any reason but love, I would follow." He wraps a hand in my hair and cups my scalp, his other arm holding me against him. "I willna lose you. I can't, because it would be the death o me."

Releasing me a moment, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a ring, then promptly slips it on my finger. The ring is beautiful, a canary solitaire set on a white gold band surrounded by tiny diamonds. "I bought this for ye last night, just before Shemus locked up his shop." Drawing me against him again, he breathes again my cheek, "Marry me soon, mo chridhe. Mo ghraidh."

Wrapping my arms around his waist, I surrender my mouth to his.

I don't know what I will do, but I know I can never leave him. Never.