Her last Letters

My last wish

Alice K.

Why hello! Aren't you my most favorite person right now?

No.

Though I'll try my level best, I'm not quite sure I'd be able to keep out the venom from my words. So I apologize in advance if by any chance a 'loser' like me hurts your 'innocent' heart.

Remember the first time you saw me? Nah? Well I remember the first time I saw you.

You were standing with two of your friends in the 'popular's place'. You were admired by almost everyone. You had it all- looks, complexion, confidence.

Everything I lack.

I admired you. I wanted to befriend you but I never tried. I mean how can an outcast nerd befriend the popular girl?

But then, you took the first step. You talked to me and called me your 'friend'. God knows how elated I felt. And obliged too.

I did everything I could for you. I helped you in class, did your homework and carried your books too. I thought that's what friends are for.

Years passed and I continued giving my life for you. And all you did was talk to me like a nice friend. Still, for me that was enough.

And then Zia came. Down came my world. You slowly forgot me. I faded out of your life no matter how much I tried. You replaced me. It hurt but I managed.

All was going kind of okay. Though I never understood the problem between you and Nancy. Why did both of you fight so much? It was so difficult for me to manage both of you.

It was always extremes. Either either of you would hate each other's guts or you would act like long lost sisters.

Honestly. I now know the pattern. You were archnemesis but like they say, 'enemy of enemy is your best friend'.

Whenever you wanted to torment me, you would come together. I thought this was fun- a joke. However, it was too late when I realized that I was the joke.

Anyways, continuing from where I diverted, Alice you did the unforgivable. You broke the sister's code. You made a move on Nancy's boy. That was low, even for you if I may say so. I, then, had to choose between Nancy and you- between fair or not. I chose the former.

And I know I did the right thing. I didn't take sides, I chose the right. But of course, your thick brain could not process it now could it?

That's when you showed your true colors. Damn, the chameleon got jealous man! You ignored me totally. You didn't even try to talk to me. Not even when I was all alone getting bored. Not even when I was crying. You stopped giving a damn about me.

It felt like you had pressed a button and literally deleted me out of your life. Is that what friends do?

I remember telling you on your birthday how much you had hurt me. I told you how much pain I'm suffering. Heck, I even told you about my depression and scars and self harm.

And what did you do?

Ladies and gentlemen, she ignored it. She fucking ignored the fact that the girl who was there for her for the last 4 years was trying to kill herself.

And I thought of you as my friend!

What wrong did I do to you?

When did I not prove to be a good friend?

When was I not there for you?

Tell me Alice. Answer me. Why did you do this to me? I loved you so much. I cared for you.