time to begin [n.h]

nineteen; break ups

I don’t want to choose. At the same time though, I don’t want to lead Niall on and cheat on Liam. I don’t want to make either of them upset. I feel a few tears slip down my cheek at the thought. Niall pulls away slightly and looks at me, he wipes away a few tears from my cheek with his thumb.

“What’s wrong?” He asks me.

“I-I don’t want to make Liam upset…”

“He’ll get over it, I promise.” He responds. I kiss him again, tangling my fingers in his hair. The kiss gets heated fast, making me forget about Liam completely. Before I can register anything, I’m laying on the couch with Niall hovering over me. I feel him kiss down my neck and leave a love bite and then a knock at the door. My eyes widen and my body freezes. Niall immediately stops and stands up, worriedly.

“Go hide in my room,” I whisper. He nods and runs quietly to my bedroom. I straighten out my shirt and walk to the door. Here goes nothing… I open the door to see the one person I didn’t want to see smiling and looking back at me.

“Oh… hi.” I say, smiling faintly.

“Hey,”

“Do you wanna um, come inside?”

“Sure,” he says, before walking inside with that same smile on his face. I just hope that Niall hid properly.

“I uh,” I say, sitting on the couch. “I need to talk to you.”

His face falls and I already feel bad. I feel the tears blur up my vision once again as I look down at my lap. Liam doesn’t say anything.

“I….I think we s-should b-break up,” I keep my eyes down on my lap, not finding the courage to look up at him.

“W-why?”

“I’m so sorry, Liam…” I say, finally looking up at him to see his head in his hands. I feel my heart being ripped but also a weight being lifted off my shoulders. Of course, this is the moment Niall decides to make an appearance, closing the bedroom door behind him.

Liam looks up at Niall, and then me, and back at Niall. He shakes his head, making a tear fall. Liam stands up and starts walking to the door.

“Liam I’m so sorry.” I say, and putting a hand on his arm making him stop.

“J-just forget it,” he says before walking out the door. I cover my face with my hands and let a few more tears fall from my eyes. I feel Niall wrap his arms around me and him kiss my shoulder. I turn around and wrap my arms around Niall, holding him close.

“I feel so bad,” I say, crying into Niall’s shirt.

“It’s going to be alright, he’ll get over it...” he repeats before kissing my head. He starts humming Fix You which only makes me cry harder.

I feel another punch in the stomach and try not to show any emotion. Although, I bend over from the humanly instinct. He grips onto my wrist, digging his nails into my skin, drawing blood. I wince a little and stare at the wall with blank eyes. There’s a shooting pain. Everywhere. It’s that feeling where you just want to collapse.