time to begin [n.h]

sixteen; ship names

It turns out that Liam saw the video. I’m embarrassed. Guys don’t exactly think that it’s cute or anything to have girls sing a song about kissing someone, they just think it’s weird and obsessive.  Today is the 13th of November, the day after the date with Liam. Right now it’s thunder storming and it has been all day so I’m not expecting to meet him in the park or something.

So here I am, playing my piano while looking out the window while drinking tea. Clark always jokes that I only drink tea so much because I’m in London but the truth is that I’ve been drinking I since I was 13 and living in Minnesota. Just by the way, Minnesota is a total coffee state. Like seriously everywhere you go you’d find a Caribou Coffee which is the cheaper version of Starbucks that also doesn’t taste as well. It’s super hard to find a Starbucks though but here it’s a lot easier mostly because they don’t have Caribou and drink a shit load of tea.

I start playing a song called Noserings and Shoestrings by Nina Nesbitt who is basically the girl version of Ed Sheeran in my opinion. It’s not a bad thing, I see her as her own person but her style of music reminds me of Ed. I get about halfway through the song when I hear my phone beep.

From Maddy: im coming over. be decent

To Maddy: ok

I look down at my outfit. Oversized t-shirt and oversized sweatpants. Lovely. I quickly change into a form fitting sweatshirt and floral leggings. I put on my grey UGGS and my new eos. There we go, a little effort is better than no effort. I can’t even bother with makeup, besides it would look like I’m trying. Just as I finish putting my hair into a messy bun I hear a knock on the door. Maddy. It couldn’t be anyone else.

I put in a bobby pin and walk over to the door. I hesitate with opening it. What if it’s Liam? He’d see me without makeup and trust me, that isn’t pretty. I finally open the door, thankful to see it is indeed Maddy.

“Hey!” She said smiling at me.

“Hi,” I step away from the door to let Maddy in and close it behind her, following her to my couch.

“Were you writing another song?” She gestures towards my piano keyboard, notebook and pencil.

“No, I’m just working on that one from before.”

“Can you play me it?”

“I’m still not comfortable singing in front of people…”

“I’ll sing the chorus with you if you sing the full thing.”

“Fine,” I say, sitting down at my keyboard. I hand Maddy my notebook, praying she won’t turn the page seeing how it has all of my song lyrics. I take a deep breath before playing the first few notes of the song.

“Four years old with my back to the door. All I could hear was the family war. Your selfish hands always expecting more. Am I your child or just a charity ward?” I sing alone.

“You have a hollowed out heart but it's heavy in your chest I try so hard to fight it but it's hopeless, hopeless. You're hopeless. Oh father, please father, I'd love to leave you alone but I can't let you go. Oh father, please father, put the bottle down for the love of a daughter.” We sing together. We sing the rest of the song but one part really gets to me.