time to begin [n.h]

twenty-one; bitch slaps

*triggering, look for safe life*

"You bitch!" Maddy screams, slamming my door behind her. I furrow my eyebrows and pause the YouTube video I was watching. I thought I locked the door.

"What did I do?"

She throws a piece of paper at me with a picture of Niall and I at Milkshake City yesterday. We were both laughing at how I spilled half my milkshake on the table.

"What does this have to do- oh.." I realise with my eyes wide open. I was supposed to set her and Niall up but instead... This happened. "Shit, Maddy... I'm so sorry. I can set you up with Harry or someone, I swear I didn't do this to hurt you or anything. It just... Happened."

"I don't want Harry, I want Niall. I've always wanted Niall!" She screams at me.

"I'm so sorry," I say and if everything is in slow motion, she slaps me. Images of my father rush through my head, filling my brain with disturbing memories. I walk out of the room, into my bathroom as calmly as I can, hoping she'll leave.

I slide down to the floor and rest my head in between my knees as I let a waterfall of my tears fall, wetting my leggings. Flashbacks and memories rush through my head. They won't stop; I can't stop them this time. They're taking over and I have no say in it.

My cheek throbs but it's as if my brain had shut off. I can't think what I want, it's like someone took over and makes me think what they want me to think.

No, Abigail. You can't do it. You promised.

I ignored the voice as I stand up and take that one step towards the sink. I pull out a pair of scissors as the images keep running through my mind and my stomach and legs start to feel the pain as if I were actually living those memories right now. I sit there for a minute or so, twiddling the scissors in my hand before opening them up and placing the cold metal into my wrist. They sit there for a while with me not putting strength into it.

And then suddenly, one of the worst beatings come to mind. I press down hard, gliding the blade across my wrist and watch as little bubbles of blood pop up. Just from that one, I feel lighter. So I do it again. And again. And again until I have 8 lines with blood on my wrist. At once, I feel numb. I can't feel anything. Nothing.

I take a small towel and wipe off the blood from my wrist and tie the towel around it to make sure they don't get infected or something. I've stopped crying on the fifth cut but I can still feel the dry tears on my cheeks.

*safe*

As I walk out of the bathroom, I look around for Maddy and was pleased when I found she left.

The walk to my bedroom was short but when I got there, I take off the towel, finding blood spots on it. Deciding to play it safe, I put on a sweater a size larger than my usual in case someone decides to pay a visit.

They can't find out.

I lay down on the couch and listen to my breathing. That is, until I heard my phone ringing. I jump and my heart starts racing as I pick up my cell to see Niall is calling me. Hesitantly, I press 'answer'.