America's Suitehearts: Season 1

America's Suitehearts: Episode 2

(w.a.m.s. by Fall Out Boy plays, blaring loud.)

"I'm awake! I'm awake!"

Stacy jumped to his feet and slammed down the SNOOZE button on his alarm clock. In routine fashion, he pulled on his light teal lab outfit and coat, tucked his red hair into his white hat, grabbed the Irish Breakfast tea that he had programmed his Cellophane Labs brand tea-coffee maker to provide for him, and rushed out the front door of his perfectly yellow house. He encouraged himself, "Today is going to be the day I finally make a difference!"

In commemoration of the day he tested his formula for the first time, he weaved a yellow flower from his backyard into one of the buttonholes in his outfit. As he sat down in his usual terminal at the train station, he saw a familiar face in the crowd.

"Hello, Gin!"

Courtney Eiru was tired from the previous night. After all, taking lines of text from countless lab notes that her husband had taken home with him and creating a brand-new font for her computer to type in was time consuming work. The worst part was that she still had to type out a letter, fold it up in the instant-envelope pattern that she could never remember, take it to the Mt. Movie Star post office, and then come home and delete her Internet history. Of course, she always had time for a potential lover.

"Stacy! Hi! So, what are you going to do today?"

No longer surprised by her overzealous greetings he said calmly, "Well, last night I got a message from your husband, Dr. Eiru. He told me that I had to test my formula, or I might have to be replaced."

Gin sighed, and shook her head. "That's too bad, because I think that you have some pretty good ideas about how to assist humanity."

"You really think so?" Stacy said to Gin without looking up.

"Absolutely! Personally, I have no idea why my husband would send you something so negative," Gin said in her typical high pitched tone with pressured speech.

As the train screeched to a stop, Stacy waved goodbye and hurried into the massive glass building that was Cellophane Labs.

As he walked into the pristine, white elevator, he began to ponder how he would test his formula without a permit. He didn't want to get in trouble, and he didn't want to get fired, so how could he pull this off?

He whispered to himself outloud, "Well, according to the permit, I will get permission to test on willing subjects. To my knowledge, the only human test subject that I can test on without a permit is... myself."

Shocked to the third degree, he jumped three inches straight up into the air when the elevator bell rang!

Stacy walked into his freshly decontaminated lab and began retrieving the anti-depressant powder that he had been working on. The yellowish dust in the beaker looked as though it could use some brightening up, so he took the flower in his buttonhole and freeze-dried it. The vibrant saffron powder that resulted -- upon closer inspection -- contained similar components to common anti-depressants. So, Stacy added the flower to his formula. Using one of the duplication machines in his lab, he added an equal amount of the flower to his entire stash of formula. Though, he still had to test it.

Stacy poured a packet's worth of the powder into a glass of water, humming a song that was stuck in his head all the while.

"If you don't take your medication... We won't sleep for days... we won't sleep for days..."

As he stirred the water, he noticed that it started to fizz and turn a vibrant shade of yellow.

"We waste it all... in the back of a long dark car... and I'm... sunshine machine..."