Vivace

Refreshed (U)

17 Jul 2016
Miserable At Best - Mayday Parade

Hi guys. I'm proud of myself. I actually sort of did things today.

Today, I realized that I hadn't left my house or done anything besides read, write, and watch in a week. After realizing this I got off my phone and turned off my computer (shocker) at like 11:40 this morning, getting up and actually doing something with my life.

I cleaned up my room, finally ridding it of all of the trash and random crap that my stepsister left behind last Sunday when she moved back to California. That was fairly simple to do but tiring because she left five extremely heavy trash bags in a corner of the room and left a bunch of random crap for me to deal with as well. Also, I know what you're thinking and I'm not proud of myself for ignoring the literal filth I was living in for the past week.

Going further from that, I also rearranged my room, swept my carpeted floor (I would've used the vacuum but my stepbrother is an utter and complete dick), and cleaned my bathroom. It took a few hours but it gave me some time to refresh and reflect.

I've been spending a lot of time on wattpad lately. For the majority of this year I had been fairly inactive when it came to writing. The pressure of finishing school along with a general lack of motivation made the first half of 2016 pretty shitty, I'm not gonna lie. There were a lot of things keeping me from wanting to create anything but then summer hit and it was like I flipped a switch or something.

I'm loving the free time I have. Wattpad is a pretty big deal to me; my friends and my writing are easily two of the most important things in my life right now. I have weird priorities at the moment but I wouldn't trade them for anything -- though I should because being eighteen is no joke: I need money to live.

Anyway, I know I say it all the time but I truly don't know where I'd be if it hadn't been for this website. I feel like I'm at peace here; I know who I want to be when I'm on this website. My goals are clear, my aspirations are literally spelled out onto the page -- I'm everything I want to be when I'm writing my stories. There's a sense of security in this space. I feel like I belong here.

I think any normal adult would tell me that I spend way too much time on wattpad. I should honestly be looking for a job, learning how to drive, and doing all of the stressful adult things I was doing three months ago -- the things that make me super unhappy. I know I need to and soon I'll start being the grown up I've always pretended to be but for now I'm just going to enjoy myself.

This is officially my last summer vacation and I'd rather spend it cooped up under the covers with my laptop and my phone, staring at the familiar white and orange theme of wattpad and talking to all you wonderful people than working 9-5 and hating what I do. I'll take this semi-anti-social form of entertainment for as long as I can get it.

It just feels good to feel this good again. I feel refreshed and at home for the first time in a very long time.

Q: What do you do when you're not on wattpad?