Unanswered - Ashton Irwin Fanfiction

Letter 10

Ashton stared stupidly at Dakota, everything he had planned to say suddenly gone from his memory as he looked at the girl he had needed to see so desperately.

"Ashton?" Dakota repeated, looking at him in disbelief, "What are you doing here?"

"I - can I come in?" Ashton asked, attempting to buy time as he struggled to focus on what he came here to do.

Dakota glanced into the house at her fiance in the kitchen and turned back. "That's probably a bad idea," she muttered, "Let's talk out here." Ashton nodded and she stepped outside after calling, "Chase, I'll be right back I'm, uh, going for a walk."

"Wanna walk then?" Ashton invited, gesturing down the sidewalk. She nodded and they headed down the sidewalk. Ashton couldn't help but think just for a moment that nothing had changed.

"What are you doing here?" Dakota asked again as they began to stroll through the neighborhood.

"I've written to you," Ashton stated, ignoring Dakota's question.

"I know," Dakota sighed, looking at her feet and absentmindedly kicking a pebble, all the while ignoring Ashton's eyes. He remained silent, giving her no choice but to explain. "I didn't know what to say," she mumbled weakly.

"Hmm, you could've mentioned that you were engaged," Ashton said with a hint of sarcasm. "Or at least that you were alive," he added weakly. Dakota sighed, looking up at him with a guilty expression and he looked away. "You never even said goodbye," he muttered, "I didn't even get an explanation."

"I know," Dakota sighed, her head hanging low as she stuffed her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt. "I'm sorry," she added.

"You can explain now," Ashton pointed out as more of a command than an invitation.

Dakota stopped walking and faced Ashton, looking up at him to see confusion and hurt in his eyes. "What do you want me to say?" Dakota asked, clearly at a loss for words.

"You could start with why you left me without a word," Ashton prompted.

"It's complicated," Dakota groaned.

"Oh, don't give me that," Ashton said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm serious!" Dakota insisted, "Do you think it was easy for me to leave?" She stepped toward him, wanting desperately for him to believe her.

"Are you kidding me?!" Ashton asked, growing irritated. "Do I think it was easy for YOU?! What about ME, Dakota? I loved you and I thought everything was going really well and then one day I come over and have to find out from Lacey that you had gone back to Seattle early! Then you completely fell off the face of the earth, not answering my calls or texts or anything!"

"I was busy," Dakota lied, trying to keep her cool as Ashton lost his at her expense.

"Oh, right! With your fiance! I find out through a wedding invitation that you're not only engaged but engaged to the guy who treated you horribly before you were with me!"

"I told you it's complicated!" Dakota said, her voice rising to match Ashton's.

"Please try to explain!" Ashton challenged.

"I - I - can we talk about this later?" Dakota pleaded, her lip beginning to tremble as her thoughts and feelings overwhelmed her.

"No," Ashton said simply. "I've waited months for answers and I want them now." He crossed his arms, looking at her expectantly. His heart softened when he saw the tears pooling in her eyes, but he knew he had to remain stern. He was going to get the answers he deserved.

"I don't know what to say!" Dakota shouted in frustration. "You want to know why I left?" She asked, her voice still getting steadily louder. "Because I was scared, Ashton, okay?! I liked you a lot, maybe I loved you, I dunno. I didn't want to love you. We had a few weeks left before I'd go back to Seattle and you'd go back to touring the world. I had to be realistic - one of us had to and it clearly wasn't going to be you. I was falling for you way faster than I planned." Her voice was softer as a few tears slipped from her eyes. "I knew I'd get hurt in the end, so I left." She looked up at Ashton, waiting apprehensively for his response.

He looked at Dakota as she shivered in the cool Seattle air and wiped a tear from her cheek, and he felt a pang of guilt knowing he had gotten her this upset and he couldn't hold her and tell her it would be alright. "We could've made it work," he said mostly to himself, "I loved you."

"I know," Dakota confirmed, not knowing what else to say. Silence fell until Dakota asked, "Is that all?"

"W-why did you go back to Chase?" Ashton asked, dreading the answer before he had even finished the question.

"I love him," Dakota responded, sounding guilty and apologetic. Ashton shook his head, not having anything else to say. "I'm sorry," Dakota added so quietly Ashton was almost certain he had imagined it.

"I - I wrote you another letter," Ashton said, pulling a crumpled paper from his pocket, "Do you want to read it?"

"I think - I think it might be better if you stop writing to me," Dakota sighed, "So you can move on."

"Right, yeah," Ashton agreed, dropping the letter into the street where it was swept up by the wind. "I'll see you later, then," he said with a nod before turning and jogging off.

[A/N] this is so late and horrible i'm so sorry next one will be better i promise (hope)