A Letter Before I Go ; malum

3

ON DAY TEN, CALUM WAS GETTING LESS HOPEFUL THAT MICHAEL EVEN WANTED TO COME BACK. He was feeling particularly hopeless when they were at their first sound-check ever since Michael's disappearance. He kept looking over to where Michael would be, and winced at the recorded parts of his solos.

They played painfully bad that night. Antwerp knew it, but understood, because they were sad as well. Everybody was sad. It was a pretty morbid show, Calum making the announcement that the last cell tower his phone had been connected to was in Brussels, which sent them into a frenzy.

They did their bow, and left. Calum crashed on the couch of the dressing room, the other two having their showers and their dinners. They didn't want to wake him for any of it. Calum wouldn't have eaten anyway.

Bus call was at one-thirty, so he could sleep until then.

Luke and Ashton were eating their dinner, the Maori's head on the eldest's lap when somebody knocked on the door. Ashton glanced at the clock. 11:48.

Luke got up, yawning as he unlocked the dressing room door and opened it just a little. It was their assistant, Zoe. The small girl gave him a smile the same size, most of it sympathetic.

"Hey, Luke," she said. "Could you and the boys come out here for a second?"

Luke looked over his shoulder gesturing for Ashton to come over. Calum woke up after a minute or two, looking grouchily at the boys as he followed them back to the stage. And there was Michael, sitting down, tuning a guitar just below where the drums were set up.

Calum didn't know why, but all he could register was anger. Michael had crawled back and tried to play it off like it was cool again? Yeah, right. That'd work. Because he totally didn't run off for ten days.

So, instead of yelling at him, Calum turned around and went back to the dressing room. He didn't care that the other two were yelling at him to stay. He didn't care that Michael was back – well, maybe he did. Maybe that was the problem.

He started to grow angry at himself, not liking the fact that he was being so ungrateful for having his best friend back.

He got his smokes and went outside, figuring the smoke would distract him a little. He grabbed one out and lit one up using the lighter Michael got him. He nearly crushed it when he put it back in his pocket.

The shitty light above him flickered, and he sighed, hanging his head to look at his shoes. Michael was back. Those questions he wanted to ask didn't seem so important anymore.

He heard the door open and looked up, seeing Michael come out. Calum didn't say anything and hoped he wouldn't notice him under the flickering light. Unluckily, Michael looked straight at him, and leant against the brick wall that the Maori was leaning on.

"What are you going to do to me?" Michael asked, but all he got was silence. "Silent treatment? S'weird, I thought you'd be yelling at me."

"Yeah, well, some people have a way of surprising you." he snapped, but not viciously enough to get Michael to leave.

Michael frowned. "I just needed – "

"Some time to yourself." Calum rolled his eyes, his expression bitter as he pushed out some smoke from in between his lips. "I know. I've read your note a thousand times." He looked at Michael. "And you dyed your hair this fuckin' weird lavender colour. Fuck, Michael, did you even want to be found?"

Michael sighed. "I got you something. It's inside."

"You can't buy me."

"Calum, if you understood, maybe you wouldn't be so harsh – "

"Make me understand."

The tanned boy had his body facing Michael now, interested in what the boy had to say. He wanted to know why Michael left.

"I can't." his voice caught in his throat. "I don't want to have to spell it out for you."

Calum dropped his cigarette, crushing it into the cement. "Give me a hint."

Michael bit his lip, pulling a hand through his hair. "There's a reason why I only wrote you a note."

The Maori stayed silent as he thought about it. He didn't understand. Michael looked nervous while waiting in silence, hoping and dreading that Calum would get it. He watched his best friend look so deep in thought that even he was confused.

"I don't get it."

Michael huffed. Fucking boys. He thought to himself as he shook his head. "Forget about it. It'll come to you. Let's go inside."

"I'm still angry at you. But I also really missed you, so I'm not sure on what to do." Calum told him.

The lavender-haired boy shrugged, because, he would get why his best friend felt either way. He went back to the dressing room, seeing the bags under Ashton and Luke's eyes. He made them lose the small amounts of sleep they were given. He knew they must've been worried about where he went, and he felt so extremely guilty for that.

But he needed to think, and yes, he knew that that was what he had been saying the whole time, but he really did. He just needed time away from the band. He needed time away from everything.

"Where'd you go?"

"I stayed in Brussels, and I knew we had a show here, so I just came here. They found me before I could get to the venue, of course."

"Why'd you go?"

"I . . . I . . . don't want to say." He muttered, fidgeting with the bracelets on his arm.

"Okay," Ashton smiled, trying to get over the whole thing, desperately wanting it to be back to normal. He stood up, offering a hand for Michael to take. "Dance with me."

Michael got up without hesitation. He put his hands on top of Ashton's, jokingly saying that he was the lead because he had a bigger dick. Ashton laughed, shaking his head.

"Come on, we all know I'm bigger than you, Michael."

Calum walked in, bringing the smell of smoke with him as he sat down. "Yeah, Michael, there's literally no debating on who's bigger. Ashton's fucking huge."

Ashton rolled his eyes, hand over his heart. "I'm feeling the love."

"Fuck me, this is useless!"

"Well obviously I need someone with a tinier dick," Michael said, hands on his hips, "like Luke."

The blond's eyes shot open, clearly unprepared for a size competition. He blushed, not bothering to say anything as he went onto his phone. Then, suddenly, he got up, fingers unbuttoning his pants.

"You know fucking what," he grumbled. "Out of all of us, Calum's the smallest."

"No way! Michael's smaller!"

Zoe opened the door, "Boys, be quiet, and button your pants up. We're going soon."

thoughts on Michael coming back? Him being so chill about it?

thoughts on calum being pissed?

thoughts on anything? Zoe? Their dancing? dick sizes?